Domino's

Mahjong

When I woke up, I saw Ash and Alex sleeping on a chair. I slowly stood up, feeling extremely tired.

Ashley? Alex? Please wake up, please wake up!
I mumbled.
Alex and Ashley slowly waked up and then they had tears of joy in their eyes. They immediately ran to me to hug me. I hugged them back.

Amaya, we're so happy you are feeling better!
Alex said.

Amaya, what happened?
Ash said.

I- I don't know... I think I got.. raped...
I mumbled in embarrassment.

Well, I told you he's an idiot.
Ash said.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I hope you're okay now.
Alex said.

I'm obviously not feeling very good, but I am feeling better now. I'm still a little stressed over what happened. I dreamt of him stabbing himself, it was a very realistic dream.
I said.

Ashley looked to her feet and said:
Yeah, that wasn't quite a dream... It's more like, reality...

I looked at her, realising that my dream wasn't a dream. I actually saw my friend suicide after he betrayed me by raping and abusing me. I was in shock again. I felt horrible. How could he do this to me???

Amaya, don't think much about it. I need to tell the nurse you woke up, I'll be right back.
Alex said.

"Don't think much about it."? How was I supposed to not think much about it??? I just stared at the wall, feeling like I'm insane.

Sorry Amaya. I wasn't in the mood yesterday to talk with you, you were getting on my nerves.
Ash said.

How could she possibly say that after the trauma I experienced? I didn't answer. I continued looking at the wall until Alex came back with the nurse:

Hello there! Are you feeling well?
Said the nurse.

Why am I here? I want to go home. Please take me home.
I said.

I'm sorry honey, I can't possibly do that. We still need to run some tests before we let you go. I heard you had to fly away soon, right? I can call the doctors so they can take some tests for you now, so you won't miss the flight.
The nurse answered.
Then, she called a doctor, who then ran some tests. Then, they walked away.

Hi Amaya, remember Mahjong? The game, that you always wanted to play with me, but I always refused because I hate classical games? Alex had it in his suitcase and I know that this isn't much, but do you think you could forgive me if we play a round? I'm sorry.
Ash said.
She hated classical games over everything. I totally forgot about that we had Mahjong at home. Now Alex sometimes played it with Aaron. They were good friends, his death must have affected him a lot too.

Yes, sure, let's play. Thank you.
I said.
The familiar clicking of the tiles made me feel nostalgic, and I couldn't wait to start playing. I started explaining the rules to her. It took her a little while to get the hang of it, but soon enough, we were deep in the game. As we played, I started to feel more relaxed and at ease. The stresses of everyday life melted away, and I felt like a kid again, playing games with my sister, even tho I still didn't feel very well. We played a few rounds and hours passed, until the nurse came back with Alex saying:
Yes, everything is alright. You can fly back, but you will need to go to a hospital immediately after the flight, so they can check you for the last time, and if everything is alright, you can go home.

Alright, thank you so much.
I said.

I'm so glad that everything is alright. Let's get ready for our flight!
Alex said.
I sat on the edge of my bed, staring blankly at the open suitcase in front of me. My mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions, and I didn't know where to start.

Tears streamed down my face as I picked up a shirt and tossed it haphazardly into the suitcase. My hands shook as I rummaged through my dresser drawers, grabbing random items and throwing them into the pile.

I didn't know where I was going, or even why I was leaving. All I knew was that I needed to get away from everything and everyone. I felt like a failure, like I had let everyone down. I couldn't face anyone, couldn't bear to see their disappointed or pitying looks.

As I packed, memories flooded my mind. Memories of happier times, of laughter and joy. Memories of the people I loved, who had supported me and believed in me. But those memories only made me feel worse, like I was letting them down by feeling so lost and confused.

Finally, the suitcase was full, and I zipped it shut with a sense of finality. I looked around the room, taking it all in one last time. It was hard to imagine leaving everything behind, but I knew I had to do it.

I picked up the suitcase and headed for the door, my heart heavy. But as I stepped outside, something caught my eye. It was a small flower growing in the crack of the pavement. It was a simple thing, but it reminded me that even in the darkest of times, there is beauty and hope.

I stopped and took a deep breath, my mind suddenly clearer. I realized that running away wouldn't solve anything. I needed to face my problems, to talk to the people who cared about me, and work through my issues.

With a renewed sense of purpose, I put the suitcase back down and walked back into the room. It was time to unpack, to face my problems head-on, and to start moving forward. We packed our stuff and got to our plane just in time. I wasn't feeling really well, so I didn't care about the view or anything else. When we arrived home, Alex insisted to go to a hospital again. After this incident, I didn't care about anything at all. They checked me, and recommended, to make a pregnancy test. It shook me thinking of that I might be pregnant at 13. But I still did the test. Then, we went to sleep because it was already late, and I wanted to go to school tomorrow. I looked at my phone to see 22 unread messages from Vivi. My other friends didn't even bother to text me. This thought annoyed me. I texted Vivienne back saying:
Hi Vivi, I'm so sorry I didn't answer, I didn't have wifi there. We should meet up tomorrow after school. Good night.

Then, I tried sleeping, but I couldn't sleep. Suddenly, I wanted a hug. The darkness scared me, I felt coldness drizzling on my skin, I was shaking and my breath was heavy. It felt like someone pushed metal into my neck. I couldn't sleep at all, so I stood up, to walk around mine and Ashleys room for no reason. She already was asleep. I walked to the desk and grabbed some Mahjong tiles and tried playing Domino with them. They made a big noise tho, so Ashley woke up throwing her pillow at me silently whispering:
Amaya what is wrong with you!? Go to sleep you stupid pig!

I usually found it funny when she got aggressive like that, but this time I couldn't express any feelings. I put the Mahjong tiles back and went to lay on my bed, still trying to sleep, but I didn't succeed. I layed on my bed the whole night thinking about everything I've experienced today and yesterday. Why couldn't I just enjoy my vacation?