Néant ~ Hollow of Nothingness

The Knight in Shining Armor

He was trapped. Trapped in the middle of nowhere, a soundless nothingness. What he wanted the most, deep in his heart, was to go away and rest in peace. Fragments of memories came back to him. He was a soldier... A dead soldier, he was sure of it. But he was held back by someone or something. It had to be. He was reflecting on his situation when suddenly, he felt he was being forcibly pulled. Why, why, why? He was being whispered to by voices in his head. Was it his own voice? He didn't have the answer. They faded away, replaced by a soft and rather high-pitched voice. Maybe a woman's voice. It was crooning a soothing and harmonious lullaby. He couldn't remember where he had heard it though. He caught a whiff of a sweet fragrance. It smelled like roses, tea leaves, ink, paper and wood, all mixed together in an elegant and subtle way. In the next moment, he felt something fresh and silky brush against his cheeks. And then, there was something soft stroking his forehead. It was cold, so cold. However cold it was, it made him feel at ease. After a while it slowly traced the outline of his face. It tickled. He wanted to move, but his muscles wouldn't budge, they must have grown numb from this deep slumber. Something soft, something smooth, something lukewarm lightly touched his forehead, his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, his chin. And his lips. It was her. The one and only. The one he loved so much he was ready to die from her hands. He should be dead already though. He had a strong urge to touch her, to kiss her and to tell her how much he loved her. So his eyelids slowly disclosed these eyes that weren't supposed to see again. He saw her. Her mesmerizing crimson eyes with those long and pretty eyelashes. Her wild locks of crow-colored hair surrounding her lovely face. He was spellbound. He had never thought he would be able to gaze at her like that once again. It had to be a dream. Or heaven maybe. She cupped both of his cheeks with her cold hands.

He wanted to hug her, he wanted to touch her so badly, to make sure she was real. But no matter how hard he tried to raise his arms, they wouldn't answer him. She slid her hands down his shoulders and his arms to finally take his hands. It seemed that her touch gave him energy so that he was finally able to move his arms freely. After clenching his fists several times as he couldn't believe it, he strongly put his arms around her, pulling her hard. She fell on his chest and they stayed like this for a while, enjoying the very first moments spent together, ever since he left to fight. It wasn't allowed and they both knew it. He realized they were surrounded by shards of broken glass and quickly sat up without warning. "What's wrong?" she asked worriedly. He wanted to reply that it was dangerous out there, that she needed to be careful, and that she could cut her beautiful and delicate white skin. He opened his mouth and tried his hardest to speak. No words would come out. He frowned. He resigned himself to simply pointing the glass shards. "Oh, don't worry about that. What does matter now, is that we're together. We'll never part again..." she smiled. He missed that bright and cute smile so much that he felt happiness overflowing in him. "Hey, what's wrong with your voice anyway...?" she muttered. He tried once again to speak, in vain. "Must be the side effects, maybe? I wonder where I went wrong." she mumbled. Out of sheer frustration that he couldn't convey his feelings with words, he roughly pressed his lips against hers. She was caught by surprise and had to blink several times before kissing him back. They shared a sweet moment together, feeling dizzy and feverish.

However, several days later, he was quickly starting to feel more and more strange and uneasy. It was like he was losing control. It wasn't only his voice now. He was able to talk a few hours after his awakening actually. The problem wasn't there anymore. He could sense some kind of dark presence around him that he couldn't explain rationally. His body was behaving quite oddly lately too. It was impossible that she hadn't noticed a thing. He must have looked so cold, whereas all he felt was love for her! However, whenever they were getting close and about to kiss, his body would stand up and turn away, saying harsh things to her. Things he didn't mean. And whenever he tried to apologize, he would suddenly act violent against his will. But she would always forgive him, always. He hated that, he hated himself for being such a coward, such a poor excuse for a man.

He didn't know what was happening to him. He didn't want to know. Was it a divine punishment for he was brought back from the dead? He would have gladly accepted it as long as it meant he could still protect the most important person in his life. When it came to her, he seemed almost to sprout wings and he could have done anything.

However, earlier in the day, they argued and he hit her. He could never forgive himself. She said it was no big deal, with her teary eyes. But this was unforgivable of course. He had become a danger for her. It had to stop. So he left. Out of his own will this time. She would be either crying or hurt because of him anyway. He had no choice. He didn't want to hurt her any more than he already did. He didn't have the right to be her proud knight in shining armor anymore. Without him in the picture, she would start a new life, she would forget him, at least that was what he hoped for. It was the best solution for her. For both of them, maybe. Otherwise... He didn't want to think about it.

That's why, as she was sound asleep, he silently got out of the bed, took his belongings he had packed beforehand and watched her sleeping face. He had to burn her beauty in his memory, this beauty who would wake up without him, would look for him everywhere, and would burst into tears with no one to comfort her. It was better for both of them. At last he turned on his heels and crept across the corridors, his expression unreadable. He paused before the entry door. He was hesitating for what looked like hours to him. Time seemed to come to a standstill. But the clock ticked midnight. As he stepped outside in the rainy night and closed carefully the door behind him, the chime sounded the end.

He had to disappear.

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Thanks again for reading! I'm glad you didn't give up :)

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