Ever so lucky (TOM KAULITZ)

Chapter 12

Hearing the voice I immediately froze. My stomach knotted so tightly I began gagging and sweating. My ears rang and I dropped to my knees, crunched over as I began to dry heave.

I hadn't noticed how fast my heart was racing I felt as if I was having a heart attack. I gasped for air when I felt a hand lay on my shoulder.

"DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME" I screamed while throwing my arm back smacking his hand away.

I clutched my stomach and stumbled to my feet. I spun around myself trying to focus my eyes on him. There he was. Tom. Looking ever so gorgeous as the moon light hit against the left side of his face.

"How. Fucking. Dare you." I spit at his feet. "What the fuck is actually wrong with you. I thought... I thought you were some fucking psychopath trying to .. trying to"

Just then Tom stepped towards me, attempting to put his arms around my body to comfort me. I shoved him as hard as I could.

He stumbled back a few steps before attempting towards me again. I shoved him again and again and repeatedly banged on his chest. He let me get a couple throws in before grabbing both my wrists crossing them over eachother and bear hugging me so tight I couldn't move.

I began to sob as I no longer had control over any emotion that overcame me. "I'm sorry" he spoke softly. "I didn't want to scare you. I just didn't know how to approach you"

"So you stalk me without a fucking word and chase me through the woods?" my words were jumbled between my sniffling and gasps for air.

He released his grip and I turned to him. I watched as his eyes travelled from my shoes and up slowly to my face. I watched as his mouth formed a menacing grin and I felt my brows furrow.

"You look beautiful when you cry" he smirked as if this was a game. I couldn't find any words to reply and began walking back to the dirt road. Tom followed close behind me as I stomped my way through the trees.

Neither one of us spoke a word and the only sound was the rustling of the leaves crunching beneath our steps. Finally making it back to the dirt road I turned around and faced Tom.

"Why are you back here? Where's your girlfriend?" I stammered but kept a mocking tone. I mentally began to prepare myself for his response.

" we're no longer together. I kept her a secret for her own privacy. I never meant for things to end or even begin the way I intended" he paused

"So you intended for what? To find a groupie and just not get photographed?" I choked out

"No. I.. I just." He stumbled over his words and brought his hands to his head. I could tell the frustration was overcoming him and I was done with the excuses. I turned away and continued walking down the road.

"GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE" he shouted.

I stopped and laughed to myself "another chance? What do you want Tom" I turned back to him "you think what? I want to be your new flavour of the week? You want me to stick around and follow you like a lost puppy only for you to throw me out when the next girl who suits your fancy comes?"

"No. God" he threw his hands down and marched towards me before grabbing the back of my head and kissing me hard. As our lips parted he stared deep into my eyes "I want to try. To try and change. Open myself to love. I couldn't stop thinking about you the moment I left"

"You left" I muttered "you literally fucking left?"

"I left because I got scared. I didn't leave because I was worried about my ex. I was scared to be photographed and used her as an excuse when in reality it's because I've never felt this way before. I didn't want to commit to anything but seeing we were already  outted to the public I freaked out. I thought I could keep you a secret on tour but it wasn't realistic.." he took a long pause

"I can't get you off my mind. I really can't. It's all I've thought about these past couple months. I came back. I'm here now" I could see the build up of desperation come out with every word he spoke.

His eyes filled with worry. the expression on his face resembled that of a child that got its favourite toy taken away, desperately wanting it back.

Still at a loss for words I just let out a sigh and began walking towards his car. I reached the passenger side and waited. I watched as he quickened his pace and opened the door. I got in and crossed my arms looking away from him

I could see his face relax and grin form from the corner of my eye as he closed the door and ran to the drivers side. Starting his car we drove off.