☆˵ Frail ˵☆

六 ☹ 「欲しいもの」

⚠️ Harsh words, Family issues

I looked back at it, then I took it, and said "Thank you."

I smiled sweetly, but now that I think about it, it wasn't a happy smile.

I took the gift given by my sister. I accept it with pleasure.

But the more times I saw the gift, my smile started to fade. I wonder why I took this gift.

I do love gifts, I accept gifts that are sincere. But after I think back, I keep wondering "Why did I take the gifts they gave?"

...

I stared at the items she gave me continuously with a blank stare.

. . . ☹

"She's not my sister!"

"Hey! Don't say something like that!"

I came out of my room and I overheard their conversation.

I hid behind the wall of my room. I heard what my brother and mother said.

I don't feel anything, sad? I didn't know what to react then.

But as time went on, the pain, the sadness, the disappointment, they all merged into me. I keep remembering his words.

I kept wondering, "Does he hate me? Why? What did I do wrong? Was it because I was stupid? I'm sorry.. I'm sorry. Don't hate me, don't, never.."

. . . ☹

★Please don't take the negative side (if any), take the positive side.

I grabbed my hair roughly, my headache was very, very sore and did not subside.

I thought of taking a knife and stabbing my head many times, so... this pain would end.

*Sound of knife scraping*

..

...

....

.....

I woke up from my sleep with wide eyes.

I touched my head, apparently there was no wound or blood.

I'm thankful that my head is still there. But...

I start to pulled my hair, again, and again. It hurts..

. . . ☹

I smiled happily, while taking the gift she gave.

"Thanks.. sister."

...

"You're welcome."

"WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!"

"EAT! And off to school, now!"

"Don't piss me off. I don't want to have a sister like you."

. . . ☹

I sat on my bed, and put on my wired headset. I play the song, while staring at the window.

I left the light off, and let the light from outside shine through my window.

....

I looked at my phone, I scrolled through Tiktok.

Then, there is a video that has the caption, "If you look up and reach your hand up, God will know how much you are sad, and will give you a better tomorrow."

That's what I usually do before going to bed. But that doesn't always work.

...

I'm waiting for another gift that she will buy for me, which is a headset.

Even though I've asked her for a long time, she hasn't bought it yet. But I'm still waiting... 'patiently'.

. . . ☹

★Please don't take the negative side (if any), take the positive side.

"Have you eaten? I'm sure you haven't eaten."

"Hey, devil child. Why don't you study?!"

"You devil child! Get out of my house!!"

"You stupid. Why don't you understand a single thing I teach you? what is your brain made of?"

"You idiot. You know what an idiot is? You're the idiot. Bastard."

"She's not my sister."

"Here. Present for you. Open it."

"Basic ignorant child! I worked hard to raise you, how can you treat me like this?!"

"Sister, have you eaten?"

"If you have stomach acid or an ulcer, I won't care."

"I should have killed you before you were born."

"I regret that I gave birth to you."

"I don't want to have a daughter like you."

"#$*&'@+(1@$*"

. . . ☹

I stare at them. My mother is sick and treated like a patient... no, more like a queen.

When I'm sick it seems, I've never been treated like that.

I'm not sad, but I'm not happy either.

. . . ☹

"This is your punishment, you selfless child!"

You ask, "does it hurt?" Then, I'll say, "no."

Why? Because I'm used to it. Even though I cried a little, it doesn't mean it really hurts.

Don't ask things like, "Are you tired? Are you okay? Are you sick?" Since you know the answer yourself, so I don't have to answer, right?

. . . ☹

★Please don't take the negative side (if any), take the positive side.

I stood on my bed, I looked at the middle aged woman I care about who was standing on the floor, holding the knife she was using for cooking.

"Come down."

I didn't answer, I just stared at her.

"GET DOWN HERE OR I WILL KILL YOU!!"

I still didn't answer, it made her really angry and she started to climb on the bed, and...

.

.

.

--- The End ---