Do You Love Me, James Taylor

Letting Go Part 3

He looked great. I mean he looked like he normally looked, but for today that was great

"Dad?" I said, shocked he was out of the house

"Mister Estevez," she said as I put her down

"Hey, Liberty... Carlos, I came here to apologize" Dad said

"Um, I'm gonna go give you two some privacy. When you're finished come by the snack table" Liberty said before she left

"Apologize for what?" I asked

"I know you've been going to the graveyard every day on your birthday to talk to your mom. I know you do it because you don't feel you can talk to me. I know it's my fault I should have sat you down and we should have talked about what happened. It was just that I didn't know what to say to you. I couldn't find the words to convince you it wasn't your fault so I made the mistake of thinking not talking about it was the better idea, so I didn't. I know that was wrong now so I'm here and I'll talk to you whenever you want" Dad said

"Dad...."

"Well, go on. Don't you have anything to say?" he asked, smiling

"Do you..."

"Do I?"

"Miss her. Do you miss her, Dad?"

"Carlos I cared for your mother very much and I miss her a lot. I think about her whenever I have the chance and sometimes I get sad when I see you. Because I know she would never see the wonderful young man you're turning into"

"I'm sorry Dad"

"What for?"

"Being impatient, maybe if I had just waited-"

"No Carlos, None of that. No more blaming yourself to be completely honest, I blame myself sometimes too"

"You do?"

"Of course, I think stuff like what if I wasn't away at the time. I probably would have been the one to go. I don't think I've ever been a good husband to her I left both you and her here alone countless times. I practically forced her to raise a child alone while simultaneously making her give up her dream"

"Her dream?"

"Yeah before you were born your mom used to have a dream she would always talk about"

"How come she never talked about it again?"

"Because she decided you were more important to her than any dream"

"What was it?"

"What?"

"Her dream what was it?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm gonna do it for her, one day when I go to mom on my birthday, I'm going to tell her that I did it" I smiled

"To travel the world. Your mom wanted to see and experience as much of the world as possible. But that night we had sex the condom broke and she lost that chance. I messed up your mother's chance at living her dream. I guess I unconsciously thought that maybe I didn't deserve anyone else after that."

"Wait, is that why you still wear the wedding ring?"

"I guess," he said somberly

"Dad, you had no control over that," I said

"Neither did you"

"Then maybe we should stop blaming ourselves"

"I think so too"

"Then let's make a deal"

"A deal?"

"Yeah. Well, more of a pact. You're gonna remove that ring from your finger right now and give it to me"

"I don't think I can"

"Dad, it's time, she's been gone for over a decade. You need to move on, find a nice woman Dad. She'd want you to be happy"

"Okay, so what about you?"

"I'm going to open it"

"What?"

"The present. When I get home, I want to open her last gift to me"

"Carlos, are you sure you're ready?"

"Probably not, but it's not gonna get any easier with time. We already made that clear."

"Just know I'll be right there when you do" he smiled

"Glad to hear now give me the ring," I said before, he sighed and looked at his ring one last time

"Here goes," he said, reaching for the ring and gripping tightly. His hands trembled and he closed his eyes. He was going to take his hand off but I grabbed it before he could

"Dad," I said before, he released the breath he was holding and opened his eyes.

"Here," he said, taking the ring off and giving it to me

"Thanks, Dad," I smiled

"No thank you," he said

"I honestly have no idea what I should do with this ring though" I admitted. I had wanted to throw it away in the sea like I was in a movie or something, but the ring looked expensive and was really beautiful

"Keep it safe"

"Why?" I asked before he pointed towards the snack table. I turned and saw Liberty

"You mean-"

"Just to be clear, I'm not saying you should get married right away"

"I love you, dad"

"I love you too. Now go enjoy your party" Dad said before I turned and started walking away

"Oh, and Carlos Happy birthday," Dad said before I smiled. It had been over a decade since he had last told me happy birthday

"Thanks, Dad," I said before returning to Liberty's side and hugging her from behind

"Hey, you finished talking with your dad?" she said

"Yeah, thank you," I said, kissing her cheek

"Anything for you," she said

"Now I only have one question for you my Shining Star," I said

"And what would that be?" She asked

"Am I seeing a thing or does Carl actually have a girlfriend?"