The Search For Home

Chapter 5: Beginning of the End

She took a series of deep breaths, standing in front of the dressing mirror in her late parents' bedroom. The purpose of her presence there eluded her. With closed eyes, she wiggled her head, drawing in air to calm the throbbing in her head and silence her racing thoughts.

Slowly, the weight of the house began to suffocate her, especially in the morning silence left by absent wake-up calls. Leah had thought she was accustomed to it, believing returning home after a day would be easy. Yet, every corner held memories that now threatened to blur and fade away, leaving only echoing voices in her mind.

Life, at times, felt like an uninvited guest, a companion to confusion. Without realizing it, her life was no longer her own, a loss of control.

Leah Siddiqa grasped the truth that being alive meant navigating a series of firsts and unwelcome introductions. The world seemed to conspire against her, conspiring to pull her down.

Three days had passed since her return from Mrs. Gaddafi's house. Despite the woman's insistence that she stay until emotionally ready, Leah, stubborn at times, refused the offer, claiming she could manage.

The desperation felt at Mrs. Gaddafi's house surpassed what she was feeling now. Every moment there had felt like her family was back, and she was missing out.

Reality checked on her since then. The house repairs were complete; electricity and water supply were restored. Despite her expectations of normalcy, Leah was far from returning to normal.

Her mother's kitchen had been remodeled, not as it used to be, but the white cabinet brought back a fragment of its past. The dense smell of smoke lingered only in Leah's imagination.

"I'm only letting you go because you insisted!" Mrs. Gaddafi had said the evening she left.

"We already know I'm only staying until the repairs are done, Jaan. Besides, I can even hear you calling me from your home."

"I understand you don't want to stay with us, my dear. I just want you to know that we're your family too; we will always be here for anything you want. Siddiqa, you have always been a daughter of this house, and so it will continue to be." Leah nodded, taking Mrs. Gaddafi's words to heart. Perhaps she wasn't alone in this journey of utter loneliness.

Mrs. Gaddafi had been a blessing, helping her rearrange the kitchen and providing necessary items. Leah hadn't cooked much, even when their parents left them alone for two days, they survived on takeout and noodles, missing their parents terribly. Now, every day felt like a longing for them.

Consciously, Leah stared at herself in the mirror. Exhaustion painted her features, circles under her eyes growing with each passing day. She sighed, assuring herself it was only a matter of time until she regained a semblance of normalcy.

Leah Siddiqa, an average-looking girl with caramel skin and beautiful almond-shaped eyes, possessed an average height and a finely structured body. Her charm didn't lie in her beauty but in her personality. Her smile, capable of leaving a lasting impression, showcased two deep dimples impossible to ignore. When not being childish, her speech commanded attention, effortlessly controlling crowds.

After her morning despondency, Leah moved to her bathroom, thankful for the makeup she had never used before. With its help, she concealed layers of tiredness and gloom on her face.

On the school campus, especially in her faculty, Leah Siddiqa had become famous through news channels. Walking freely was no longer part of her life. Pity and concern greeted her gaze. Being a standout student with a hijab added to the attention. Some expressed sympathy for her loss, while others remained indifferent. As usual, she responded with a smile and gratitude.