Then Came You { a pedro pascal fanfiction }

Chapter Twenty-One

I woke up slowly, my body in that strange floating state where I didn't quite know where I was. The bed in LA faced a different direction than the one in New York, so that was certainly part of it, my sense of direction was all skewed and warped. As soon as I felt solid, warm skin under my cheek, though, I was grounded.

I let my eyes flutter open, then turned my head slightly so I could look up, to find Pedro gazing down at me, his warm, brown eyes flickering across my face as he gently brushed his fingers up and down my spine.

"Mmm." I groaned, trying to clear the sleep from my voice, "what're you doing?"

"Just looking at you, is that not allowed?" His voice was low, but not nearly as husky as it normally was right after he woke up, he must have been awake for a bit.

"It's allowed." I pressed my face into his chest briefly, absorbing the woody scent of his skin, "How long have you been just looking at me?"

"Not important." He crooned, reaching up and dragging his thumb across my jaw. His touch lit my skin on fire, causing a content hum to escape my lips.

"So, a while, then." I said, turning my head again so I could look up at his pretty face.

His lips curved into a smile, that dimple emerging on his left cheek.

"Subjective. See, I could just look at you for an eternity, so any time less than that is trite."

My cheeks warmed at his words as a soft chuckle escaped his lips, his fingers brushing across my shoulder, down my arm, taking my hand in his much larger one and gently squeezing it.

"Could I ask you something?" He inquired after a moment of silence. I felt his body tense slightly as the words exited his mouth and my heart sped up a beat faster in my chest.

I rolled onto my stomach, so half my body was on him, propping myself up on his chest so I could see his face. His jaw was slightly taut, the muscles there twitching. I reached up and brushed his scruffy cheek with my fingers, hoping to ease the tension as I nodded for him to ask me whatever it was that was bothering him... though I certainly had an idea.

"Do-- um-- does our age difference ever bother you, because of-- because of what happened with him?" The word him nearly came out as a growl and I trembled slightly in response as Pedro's hands took residence on the small of my back.

I knew this would happen eventually, just as soon as he found out or was made aware by the media. I'd been trying to put it off for as long as possible, because to be honest, it didn't matter to me anymore. It was a learning experience, sure. It had wrecked me at the time, but I had refused to let it destroy or define me. And I certainly didn't want it to jeopardize what I had with Pedro.

I shook my head adamantly, "It's different, Pedge. I'm not 18, I'm a full grown, brain entirely developed, adult. I didn't know or idolize you before we met. The circumstances are entirely different. Other than when I'm making fun of you, I hardly think about our age difference at all."

He nodded slowly, seeming to digest that information. I hoped I would see him visibly calm, but the opposite happened, his chest grew tighter, along with his jaw. I felt his hands curl into fists against my back before he spoke again. "I wish I had been there then, I would've fucking--" He shook his head, swallowing hard, his Adam's apple bobbing at the motion.

"Pedge," I whispered, gently rubbing his chest, "It's okay, I'm fine now. And plus, if you had been there back then it would've been problematic in its own right."