i'll save you when you're weak

Part 15

Not everyone was willing to be forgiving of the mistakes of children. There were those out there who would look at a grieving child with scorn and disdain. Hold their mistakes against them and mistreat them because of their immaturity.

Children who frequently need guidance and support will instead be scolded with you should have known better and how dare you be so selfish by those with disgustingly cruel intentions.

The irony of a person telling a child 'you should have known better' when they, as an adult, ought to know better than to treat a child with such repugnant disgust was lost on those fools.

While scorning a child for being 'immature' and 'selfish', they were ultimately the immature and selfish ones. Motivated by their own disregard for the happiness of others.

Children who were not born perfect were deserving of wrath. A child who acted out in a state of grief was trash to these pathetic people.

Kim Rok Soo hated adults like that.

He hated them more and more when he witnessed how they treated his closest friend.

The vessels of the Count's household only saw trash when they looked down on the eight year old young master.

Kim Rok Soo was the first to admit that his friend was vicious and his response to grief had been rather intense but Cale had far more to offer the world than his worst reactions.

But more than anything else, Kim Rok Soo was not the sort of person who appreciated scum who would look down upon someone who was his. The individuals that Kim Rok Soo treasured did not need to be perfect or pure of heart, they just needed to be his treasured people.

Kim Rok Soo was, after all, the sort of person who would rescue a vicious dragon and treat him with the kindness that no one else provided. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

It started slowly at first.

Cale smiled upon being escorted to the castle but that smile didn't quite meet his eyes.

Kim Rok Soo didn't comment initially. He'd gotten quite good at reading people's emotions in his short life and one thing he'd decided quite firmly was I don't want to know.

He didn't want the responsibility that came with noticing that something was wrong.

After a week, there was no sign of the normal mischievous glint to Cale's eyes and he didn't even spare the energy to insult Choi Han when he spotted him in the hall.

"...what are you up to lately?"

Kim Rok Soo's voice was small, anxious with his own insecurities but Cale was used to listening for his meek friend's voice and put down the book he'd only been pretending to read.

"Studying, mostly." Cale had a cagey edge to his words, as though it wasn't something he wanted to talk about.

Kim Rok Soo left it alone that day.

The following week, Cale's shoulders were slumped.

Kim Rok Soo's little fists clenched and he felt an unfamiliar emotion boil over in his heart. Between his own parents death, the fear of his uncle and starvation, and adjusting to a fantasy world, Kim Rok Soo had never really had the privilege to really worry about other people.

The most he could worry about was in life or death situations. He couldn't spare the time for the more mundane day to day worry.

It was uncomfortable.

He hated it.

Kim Rok Soo tugged at the corner of Raon's shirt and the dragon picked him up out of habit. "What's on your mind, little human?"

"...what is Cale studying?"

Kim Rok Soo had a broad idea what children in his world would study at Cale's age and he knew well enough that education stressed some kids out beyond their breaking point. But there was still something so wrong about this.

Raon's brow furrowed with worry over what could be bothering his little charge but he continued his walk through the garden with his human carried in his arms, explaining this or that about the responsibilities an heir to a county might have. Raon didn't have all the information about humans but he at least knew that much.

Kim Rok Soo listened silently, his frown growing by the moment.

It didn't make sense.

None of the things that Raon said sounded like matters that would bother Cale. Most of it he was sure that Cale was quite adept at already. In their many excursions to the library, Cale had shown just how bright and intelligent he was. Teaching Kim Rok Soo more about reading and about the laws in the Rowoon Kingdom.

Even when Cale was wrong, he had the resilience and intelligence to seek out the correct answer and listen when he was taught.

"What's wrong, human?"

Kim Rok Soo shook his head and hid his face in the crook of Raon's neck.

A tremor went through him.

There was something eerie and familiar about all of this and he couldn't place it.

It wasn't until the third week of watching the soul slowly get crushed out of Cale's smile that he recognized it.

Cale's expression matched his own reflection.

Panic surged through Kim Rok Soo's heart and he rushed forward, pulling up Cale's sleeve. Cale squawked and pulled away, confused and bare of any bruises.

Kim Rok Soo frowned.

And then the memory hit him.

"Worthless. You should know better–"

"You know what death and loss is so you shouldn't be so selfish."

"You're acting so pathetic. Do you want me to sympathize with you? You want to play the victim?"

"You made another mistake? Are you doing this on purpose? Are you that desperate for pity?"

Kim Rok Soo hated pain. He was scared of pain and he hated suffering. He feared for his life under his uncle's fist but that wasn't what caused the life to leave his eyes when he looked at his own broken reflection.

The words of an adult without the ability to show compassion for his grief or immaturity.

Cale was still confused when Kim Rok Soo spoke up again, his voice quiet but not as nervous. His heart blazed with emotion.

"...I want to take classes with Cale hyung."

Cale flinched at his words and likely prepared to reject the proposition.

He lost his words when he saw the determination in Kim Rok Soo's eyes. Reddish brown eyes alight with anger that was so unusual in Kim Rok Soo's eyes.

Perhaps it was an overreaction on Kim Rok Soo's past, brought upon by trauma and fear, but this was Cale. His vicious and bright friend. The person who would protect him at the cost of his own life. His friend who respected him and cared for him.

Cale's gentleness was hard to spot, under all of his flaws. But it was there and once you saw it, it was impossible to miss. Cale paid attention to the people around him, more than any child his age ought to, and sought out people's needs and desires. For those he cared about, Cale was fiercely loyal and attentive. For those he distrusted, he was cruel and cold.

Cale was his friend and Kim Rok Soo had no love for anyone who would demean his friend.