Chapter One: Damages To His Emotional Health

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I am the queen of second place.

In all of the twenty-four years I've spent living on this planet, I have grown accustomed to holding the position of second place. I was in second place when I finished my first race in karting which was astonishing for a six-year-old. I was in second place when Jacob Martinez asked me to prom, and then I found out a few days later that he only asked me because Margaret Coleman said no to him. I was in second place when I was growing up because my all-star sister held the main spotlight. It has become a norm for me, which is why it's unusual that starting today, I'll be known for a lower ranking– sixth place. Sixth place isn't as good as fifth place because it just looks like I missed out on being included in the top five. At least being in second place meant I was close to winning.

It's also unusual that I feel ecstatic about the sixth place, but I'm still proud of it. I consider this as an exception because holding sixth place meant I was making history.

Since 1950, I have been the sixth woman to drive in Formula One. It's honestly insulting that only five– now six– women have been given the chance to drive during a Formula One Grand Prix, but I'm not surprised since this sport has been dominated by men for years.

It's about damn time, though.

I remember sitting in my hotel room in Miami, surrounded by Scuderia Leone's team principal, communications head, and my manager. They were preparing me for the field day I was about to have once the official social media account of the team posted an announcement that would change my life.

BREAKING: Katarina Ibañez to replace Oliver Beckett for the season.

Oliver Beckett was the number one driver of the Italian team, paired alongside Saint Marino, who has been driving in the sport for three years. Oliver held an air of arrogance with him wherever he went, which is why it wasn't surprising that he got injured because of it.

Just like the drivers do every race week, Thursdays were reserved for accomplishing media duties. This meant attending interviews and playing games that the media team organized. The drivers were invited to play a casual game of basketball, and Oliver became too competitive. I was watching on the side, clad in my team gear when I heard a loud pop.

All eyes turned to the court where Oliver was lying down and holding his knee, his face showing that he was clearly in pain. His eyes were closed, and he was biting his lip, most likely trying hard not to let out a wail at the pain he was feeling. The cameras were waved away as everyone rushed to him and called for the nearest medic. I filled in for him for the first two practice sessions while he was transferred from the medical center to the nearest hospital, which meant the injury was serious. My manager prepared me for the possibility that I would need to drive for both the qualifying session and the race.

I can't even describe the fear and excitement that went through me during the conversation. I've driven in Formula Two which gave me the opportunity to be selected by Scuderia Leone to become their reserve driver, and I've had my fair share of experiences driving an F1 car. But to drive for an actual race and push the car to its limit during qualifying? That's something else. That's the dream. To be a part of the twenty drivers in the world who get to participate in one of the most prestigious competitions in motorsport is a feeling that I would never be able to put into words.

Despite the familiar rush of adrenaline that courses through me, I know that the crowd reaction I'd be receiving wouldn't be the same compared to the other drivers. It's safe to say that there are still remnants of misogyny in the paddock, and I blame the lack of openness to the presence of females in motorsport for this. I'm not new to the backlash since I've been receiving it for years from people who underestimate the capabilities of a woman. Sometimes, I see it as an additional critique of my driving style although I wonder if there are other drivers who face the same amount of pressure that I do.

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