Love's Facade { MINI SERIES }

Panic Attacks & Hot Cocoa (Carson's POV)

The days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months. Kaitlyn was still missing, and I was still searching for her. I had put up fliers all over town, asking for anyone who had seen her to come forward. I had talked to her friends, her family, anyone who might have had any information about where she could be. But nothing had turned up. It was like she had vanished into thin air, leaving behind nothing but a trail of broken hearts and shattered dreams.

I felt like I was in a daze, like I was living in a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face, her smile, her laughter. I heard her voice in my head, whispering my name, telling me that everything was going to be alright. But when I opened my eyes, she was gone, and I was alone once again.

One day, I was sitting in class, trying to focus on the lecture, when my teacher, Mrs. Johnson, pulled me aside. "Carson," she said, her voice gentle. "Is everything okay?"

I looked up at her, my eyes unfocused. "What do you mean?" I asked, my voice hollow.

"I mean, you seem distracted," she said, her eyes full of concern. "Is there something going on that you want to talk about? Did you want to talk about Kaitlyn Blythe?"

I shook my head, feeling a sense of frustration. I couldn't talk about her. "No, there's nothing going on," I said, my voice rising. "Can't a guy just have a bad day without everyone fucking freaking out? I told you I'm fine."

Mrs. Johnson looked at me, her eyes full of understanding. "I'm not trying to make you freak out," she said, her voice soft. "I just want to make sure that you're okay."

I felt a lump form in my throat as I looked at her. Mrs. Johnson had always been one of my favorite teachers, someone who had always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. But now, I barely even look at her without feeling a surge of anger and frustration.

"I'm fine," I said, my voice quiet. "Just leave me alone."

Mrs. Johnson looked at me, her eyes full of sadness. "Okay," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "But if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. Please make sure you catch up on your work because you are failing majority of your classes right now."

I watched her walk away, feeling a sense of guilt wash over me. I knew that I was pushing everyone away, that I was isolating myself from the world. But I didn't know how to stop it. I felt like I was drowning, like I was trapped in a sea of emotions that I couldn't control. I didn't know how to make it stop.

————— ୨୧ —————

That night, my parents sat me down at the kitchen table, their eyes full of concern. "Carson," my dad said, his voice serious. "We need to talk."

I looked up at them, my eyes unfocused. "About what?" I asked, my voice flat.

"About Kaitlyn," my mom said, her voice gentle. "We know that you're hurting, but you can't keep pushing everyone away. You need to let us help you. There's nothing we can do since she's missing but-"

I felt a surge of anger rise up in me. "What do you know about it?" I spat, my voice rising. "You don't know what I'm going through. You don't know how it feels to lose someone you love."

My parents looked at me, their eyes full of sadness. "Actually, we do," my dad said, his voice quiet. "Your mother and I lost a child when we were younger. We know what it's like to feel like the world is ending, to feel like there's nothing left. But we also know that you can't go through it alone. You need to talk to us, Carson. You need to let us help you."

I felt a lump form in my throat as I looked at them. I didn't know what to say, how to express the pain and the fear that was consuming me. I wanted to let them in, to open up to them, but I didn't know how. I felt so pissed.