« For he has not despised my cries of deep despair. He's my first responder to my sufferings, and he didn't look the other way when I was in pain. He was there all the time, listening to the song of the afflicted »
Prayers resonated in the heart of the magnificent building. On his knees Florian took a deep breath, enjoying the scent of the particular incense that the church man just turned on before he took Gemma's hand. His wife was on his side, like she always was.
Together, they confessed their deepest needs, fears and hopes to the only one who could really help them. They need him more than ever since the death of their newborn baby boy, Lloyd Vassili Munteanu. He was a stillborn, and for Florian and Gemma there was nothing more hurtful that coming home with empty hands.
It's been the hardest test of their lives and of their faith. Fortunately the couple has never been so solid and so close to each others. They were their mutal rock, allowing them to be vunerable and go through every step of the grief. Being two very spiritual person, they put god in the center of their healing.
So every sunday since 8 months now, they had they own routine for that special day. They start with church, the earliest session so they don't have to confront children. It was still hard them. Then they visit Lloyd, making sure his grave was clean and flowered. Florian wanted to stop visiting his son every Sunday, it was hard for him. It was like he had to live that tragic lost again and again. Llyod will always be with him but it felt like the pain will never go away.
For Gemma it was a bit different, she still felt highly guilty. Some how, she always thought things could have go another way if she could have done anything different. She felt like death was by her side every single minute. For her it was like she failed her only task and give up on her son. That's why she didn't want to miss one Sunday to visit him. Sometimes, when she felt she need to, she also goes see him during the week.
When Florian asked her if he could stayed home one Sunday, which took him all the courage he had to say it out loud, Gemma was kind of surprised. But she understood and decided to go anyway. Usually she was not crying before being in front of his grave. But this time she had to stop on the road at the halfway. Gemma was collapsing. For Florian, the feeling of letting his wife facing his son alone was worst than what he felt in front of him. So he decided to stay by her side as long as she needed. They got to going through that together.
The next step was lunch with Florian's parents. Gemma made sure she always wears something wide because of all the food she was going to eat that day. Her heart was full of warmth when she was near her in-laws. They was so kind and caring with her, just like her husband.
When the couple arrive in Gemma's family, the rythme is more animated due to the bigger family, the music and all the interactions flowing between the different room. Florian loved being in that place. His mother in law never passed a chance to made him laugh and every single person made sure he was alright.
It's usually around 7pm when they finally arrived at their own home. They don't even think about food at that time, they just want to go take a shower and crash in each other arms in the couch or in their bed so they could get mentally ready for the next week.
Florian let his wife went first to the shower and followed when she was done. He let the warm water run on his muscular body and his mind go whatever it wants. He had to turn the water cold few times, trying to make go away his langering erection. Sex was not the main topic of the couple for few months. For him it's not that he didn't want it, but whenever he watched Gemma and saw her sight, limp and kind of empty, he didn't want to bother her with « that ». Usually he could have take care of that need quickly but it felt like it would have not be enough for tonight. For Gemma it's another story.
