August 16 [c.l & p.g]

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

┌────────────┐
it kills me a little, that's
okay, 'cause I'd die for you.
you know I'd still die for you.
└────────────┘

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞 ˖*°࿐

𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝟓𝐭𝐡.

When I was fifteen I had realised just how foolishly in love with Lovelle I was, I wrote a pro's and con's list. It looked like this:

Pro.
Her hair smells like strawberries.
Her laugh makes my heart flip.
When she smiles, I smile.
I feel like I can breathe again.
Every time she's near, the world seems a little brighter.

Con.
I think my best friend is in love with her.
I think she loves him too.

I wasn't sure why, but I still had that piece of paper. Although nowadays it looked like it could be an old war relic. It remained in a box full of everything else I had hoarded from my childhood: birthday cards, newspaper clippings from my karting days, pictures of me standing on a podium with Charles and Lucien–before he left to pursue sailing like his father. We must have only been eleven.

Lovelle had taken the photo, having embraced her mother's love of photography. It was a terribly positioned photograph, the tops of people's heads lined the bottom of the frame, but still to this day, it was my favourite photo from our karting days.

I could still see her, sitting on top of her father's shoulders, all of our families gathered like one whole. Her smile, my Lovelle's smile, will forever be the last thing I think about before falling asleep. I was only a child, but I knew.

For as long as I could remember, it was always us, drawn together like magnets, finding each other no matter the road blocks that stood in our way.

But not just her, Charles was always there too. Like a ray of sunshine to bring light to my darkest of days. He was constant in my life from the moment we met. It didn't matter how young we were, we knew this was something to last a lifetime.

They owned equal parts of my soul. Had made themselves at home deep in the cavity of my chest.

I'd know them in darkness, at the end of the world.

I would do anything for them to be mine.

Our hearts lay on the line, in a dangerous territory that could leave them shattered on the pavement if we weren't careful. I love them both, that I know for certain. If I lost either of them, I truly don't know if I'd survive. I might have steeled myself over the years, but being together again was beginning to crack the surface of my armour.

But now, I firmly believe I am desperately in love with two people who don't love me in return.

One of which, I am near certain I've missed my chance with.

The other, I couldn't even tell.

Charles would never forgive me for this.

I was never supposed to fall in love with him, but how could I not?

*°🏎࿐

"What is she doing down there?" Charles is pressed against the window that overlooks the marina, a porcelain tea cup warms his hands while he gazes down with a furrowed brow at the street below.

"Who?"

There's a deep crease between his eyebrows. I have the urge to smooth his concern away with soft strokes of my thumb.