Lets see what I write

Can we talk

You killed me...in multiple ways

You've been in my nightmares these last few day, it's always the same dream.. we're in the car then as we head to class you kill me, you grab a gun and shoot me, or it end up being a night and you stab me.
As I'm dying I see you smile...like if you enjoy the sensetion of killing me me

I called you last night.. I needed help I needed to express what j was feeling but I couldn't you didn't answer so I just sat there like I used to do before I met you and it hurt, I had forgotten the feeling of that pain. It hurt bad I had no one to talk to but you, but you didn't pick up... I don't blame you but I didn't like it... As I always said... And will keep saying even if you don't talk to me, I prefer you sleep than having to deal with me. I didn't like it tho because it hurt and altho I was used to the pain not necessarily pain but that feeling in my chest of not being able to speak or scream...to anyone or anything I just had to suck it up... That's the feeling I felt, the feeling you made disappear and appear.

I was hoping you answered but I knew I didn't have any luck so I tried again and again and again but again...but yet no luck so I gave up, and tried two more times 30 minutes later.... But again no luck... I stared at anything so I could distract myself but I couldn't, my emotions kept coming back.

It's the next day, we're sitting in the car and you seem mad at my preccens, at the responses I give you and the big or small movements I do, I don't get it. I tried not to think about it, but I also tried to figure out why. The why I felt you being like that, you told me you unadded me and that you erased my contacts. I asked you why, but all you said was because you wanted to and because you didn't want to talk to me.. still it made no sense... So I tried to let it go so I wouldn't bug you anymore than you already were, then we argued about the bracelet... I don't understand why you want it back so bad, you say it's because you made it, but you gave it to me you made it for me. Just tell me why you want it back, it wasn't a problem until you actually paid attention that I was wearing it...

I just want to know what's going through your head, I want to know what you think or what you feel, or why you don't want to talk to me or be near me, I just want to know all that... Or at least have a normal conversation like we used to, like we were, you laughing me laughing, and it not being so serious... Or it going back in general, as friends, as actual normal friends how we were most of the times.

Can we just talk.