In Search of True Identity.

The blinking cursor was once again taunting Amber. No inspiration had stirred her yet and as she stared blankly at the screen, she recalled the times she spent working on her college assignments. Although she despised those periods, those were the periods where she was doing her best at writing. Now that Amber had graduated there was no pressure to write anymore but that had also brought her creative endeavours to a halt. Although she was an English Major, carving a niche in the competitive world of writing was no easy task. Amber had dreamt of becoming a writer but her dream appeared more elusive with each day that passed by. She had somehow failed to realise the true extent of difficulty in making a living by means of her passion.

Amber was an amiable person with deep honey-coloured eyes, wavy brown hair and a fairy-like appearance. She loved bright dresses and her room was basically a library by itself. She was the youngest among her peers, a late bloomer, she had only recently developed her writing skills which were not the best as of yet. Regardless, Amber was not afraid to dream big and would often indulge in detailed daydreams about how she would one day achieve the recognition of her dreams. She wished to inspire other girls to be prolific writers and often discussed with her friends about how literature is still a male dominated field and how we girls and women must start writing to put our views out into the world. She loved quoting her professors who had consistently given her the best advice in life and had assisted her in honing her writing skills.

It had been an hour and Amber was struggling to put anything down on the page. She looked back upon other women writers and wondered if they too felt like this, completely blank before the white page, thinking to themselves if they had made the right choices in life, if perhaps their words aren't enough for this world where men made a mark and women are sidelined. An email blinked on the screen, another of her works was rejected to be published and it was the tenth time that week. Amber felt dispirited after the constant rejections but she recalled her professor, Mrs.Kaya's words, "When rejection strikes don't lose courage, always remember that hitting rock bottom is part of the process. When you have explored the depths of misery that is when you will start to ascend to a dazzling success."

She opened her journal of ideas and started digging through the pages for phrases that would spark some emotion within her. Upon a page were scribbled the words, "The Maiden and the Moon" she vaguely remembered pitching an idea of this play to the theatre community in her college but unfortunately they had decided to parody Shakespeare's plays instead because the community members didn't have much time that year owing to their other commitments and parodies always got a great response from the audience.

The idea of the play was to explore women's search for their individual identities and the deep connection they share with the moon. The play's protagonist "Janet" had until her 25th birthday, a full moon day, to find her true self or she would be condemned to live a life that is not her own. With the help of her wise old grandmother she would discover who she truly is and the phases of the moon would teach Janet some of the most valuable lessons of life. The full moon would then symbolise the realisation of her true identity. All the details of the play were flashing before Amber's eyes. Amber started typing frantically and after a few hours she had the first draft ready.

For several hours the next day Amber couldn't write more than a few words. Soon she started gathering ideas and started writing a few paragraphs which she ended up editing, cutting and starting all over again. It was like this for over a week after which her vision had started to shape itself on the pages. It took a few more days of rewriting and revision following which Amber had finally managed to finish writing the play. A new question had now popped into her head asking her, "what will you do with this play?". She was uncertain about sending it for publication so she kept reading it closely for further improvements. Amber thought of waiting till some good opportunity to publish plays might come her way but two months had passed and she came across no such opportunity. One day unexpectedly she received a call from Mrs.Kaya asking Amber how she was doing in life and if she would be interested in writing a play for a college event. Amber said that she has a play ready and sent the same to her professor who approved of it almost instantly!

The script was printed and the theatre community had started preparing for the performance after being briefed on the play. Amber managed to publish quite a few articles and blogs in the meantime, almost completely forgetting about the invitation she had received from her college. The play was scheduled on her birthday's evening for which Amber blamed her luck but was grateful that her play was being put up nevertheless. The playwrights always got a small share of income based on the number of seats sold out which was a good motivation for writing more plays, she thought. Amber had decided to cheer herself up by shopping for a few dresses to wear on her birthday but as usual, she ended up buying more books than clothes. She would often imagine the final day, playing it out in her head and feeling happy that all the efforts she put into her writing hadn't gone to waste.

The day arrived and Amber had a lot occupying her mind. "Will it be a successful show? What if nobody shows up? What if the actors decided to stage something else without informing her?", Amber kept overthinking to herself. She knew her doubts got progressively ridiculous but she kept panicking till she got to the crammed auditorium. The huge crowd gave her some assurance at first, then it made her nervous. Her friends were sitting in the audience to keep her company and to support her work. Once seated, she had her professors to greet and update about what she was doing these days. Amber considered herself really fortunate to have some of the best professors to teach and guide her. They were always friendly and only wished the best for their students, helping them to realise their true potential.

The host of the day introduced the play and the curtains parted. The play unfolded before their eyes, keeping the audience engaged for the next two hours. The audience laughed at Janet's silliness, they listened intently to Janet's grandmother advising her, when Janet resolved to find her true self, performing her soliloquy, the audience was holding their breath. The heartbreaking death of Janet's grandmother moved the audience to tears. When Janet struggled with her dance practice and when she was kicked out of her dance group, they sympathised with Janet's grief, struggles and rejections. Janet's undying spirit had kept her going, inspiring the audience not to lose courage.

The lights, effects and music were perfectly interwoven with the play. The result of which was that when Janet had finally discovered her passion was to be a dancer in those brilliant spotlights which resembled the moon, claps echoed from every corner of the auditorium. Janet delivered her last dialogue by addressing the night sky as her grandmother, "I've done it grandma, I've done it! I know who I am, I know what I want to be; A dancer grandma, look how beautifully I dance. Look!". Janet laughed wholeheartedly as she danced all the way into the wings of the stage. The audience felt like she would keep dancing forever. It was a stunning spectacle. Most of the girls were weeping at the end of the play and almost all professors too. The struggle of finding your own identity when everything was working against you had been accurately captured in the play. "I am proud of you Amber, you have definitely proved your mettle with this one", said Mrs.Kaya and all the other professors praised her for this well-written play. Many people from the audience shook hands with Amber and recognised her as an amazing playwright. "The Maiden and the Moon" was a dazzling success.

Amber returned home happily with the pay still in her hands. Even though the wind was chilly outside, for some reason she didn't want to step inside yet. The money didn't matter much because this was her first success, what mattered was to watch the piece you have written come alive in front of your eyes. Amber breathed in the fresh air and looked at the sky, the full moon shone bright and flooded the city with its silver rays. Amber felt like she too was standing under the stage spotlight.

It was not just the protagonist of the play, Janet, who had realised her true self that day, Amber too had realised who she exactly was. She was meant to be a writer, that is exactly what she was born to do! To write, to express herself, to present the very feelings which make us human and weave stories that touch other hearts like her own, that had been her goal all along. Writing and watching the play come to fruition for which she had worked so hard was a marvellous experience, one that would stay with her for a lifetime.