Paddington was in a prison cafe after accidently turning all their uniforms pink with a red sock in a washing machine.
Paddington: Well fellas if you ask me the pink really brightens the place a bit.
One of the prisoners didn't want to hear it.
T-Bone: If you ask me you should pipe down and enjoy your dinner because it might be your last.
Paddington was really frightened by the comment and went straight to the table and sat down.
When sat down and looked at the food it look horrible.
Phipps: Don't worry I used to work in a cafe it's not as bad as it looks.
Paddington gave it a try but spat it out.
Phipps: It's worst.
Paddington: What is this stuff made of?
The prisoners on the side of the table looked over.
Spoon: Nobody knows.
Paddington: Why doesn't anyone have a word with the chef?
Everyone stopped eating and went silent.
Phipps: What Revy?
Spoon: Two things if you want to survive in here keep your head low and never talk to Revy.
Paddington nodded his head.
T-Bone: Well I think it's a great idea tell you what you go up there a convince Revy to change the menu and we'll forgot about making us look like a bunch of pink flimingos.
Paddington got off his chair.
Phipps: You really think this is a good idea?
Paddington: Aunt Lucy said if you look for the good in people you'll find it.
Spoon: She obviously never met Revy.
Paddington walked up to the food bar and knocked on it.
Paddington: Uh excuse me Ms Revy?
Revy turned around.
Revy: Yes?
Paddington: I was wondering if I could have a quick word about the food.
Revy bent down closer.
Revy: You want to complain?
Paddington looked worried.
Paddington: Oh no I wouldn't say complain.
Revy put a evil smile on her face.
Revy: Oh that's a shame because I just love it when people complain.
Paddington was surprised.
Paddington: Really?
Revy: Oh yes.
Paddington: Well in that case it's rather gritty and lumpy and as for the bread.
Paddington took a piece of stale bread and wacked it on Revy's head slightly pissing her off.
Paddington: Need I say more?
The prisoners started looking scared at what Revy might do to the poor bear.
Paddington: I think we need to completely over hall the menu now I know we're working on a tight budget but we could at least add some sauce.
Paddington grabbed a bottle of ketch up a squirted it on Revy.
Paddington: Oh sorry let me just get that for you.
Paddington started rubbing the ketch up on her with Revy getting more pissed off at the bear.
Paddington: No that's just rubbing it in.
Revy growled at him.
Paddington: Don't worry I know what gets ketch up stains out.
Paddington then grabbed the mustard and squirted on Revy.
Paddington: Hang on was it mustard?
He rubbed it in again.
Paddington: Um no that's just made it worst. Does anyone know what works on ketch up?
He turned around only to see that the other prisoners were hiding under the table.
Paddington then looked back at Revy who had enough and grabbed him the by the neck and pulled out a gun.
Revy: NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT!
Paddington: Listening.
Revy: Nobody talks shit about my food, nobody squirts random crap on me and nobody bonks me on the head with some fucking bread.
Paddington: No bonking.
Revy: I will over hall the menu alright dish of the day bear pie.
Paddington: (gasp) I DON'T LIKE IT.
The rest of police made it just in time before Revy could kill Paddington.
Revy: You better not fucking do that again Paddington because if you do I'll fucking kill you you little bitch.
Paddington: Wait let me help you cook I can make some food.
Revy rolled her eyes.
Revy: But you better not pull that shit you did before got it.
YOU ARE READING
Paddington meets Revy One Shot
FanfictionOkay let's get a few things clear first. Number 1 this is not a ship fic for obvious reasons. Number 2 for the love of god do not take this seriously I wrote this just for fun and Number 3 I don't want this crossover to be real this is just for fun...
