I felt like I needed to release some things that happened while I was in Ohio after I was homeless. Maybe it'll make me appreciate what I have now:
I mean I had somehwere to stay but it was far from somewhere I would call home. It was straight poverty low key. Sharing a can of green beans and corn with 4 or more other mfs. Having a bag of popcorn for dinner. One time I made a pie out of cornbread, don't ask me how I did. One thing is you learn how to adapt and make shit work when you don't have anything. I had 2 pairs of shoes and a duffel bag with about 5 tshirts, 2 sweatpants, 3 jackets and 2 jeans...well one of the jeans got stolen but I got that shit back after a week or two. It was hard living in a dirty ass home with cockroaches everywhere. I was so bored and high one time I would watch cockroaches give birth while they were chilling on the wall. You damn sure better zip up your duffel bag while you living there so they won't lay no eggs up in there.
Most the time there I was working but that don't mean I still didn't have a dime to my name. The money went towards rent cause 6 mfs or more would be living there and not paying a dime because they were "family". Me and my friends (at the time) would get off work and be like "so how we gonna make this money today". And then we'd plan on either donating plasma for money, hitting a lick, someone finding a sugar daddy, or doing some other shit that I'm not gonna type in here. You couldn't not live there and do some type of drug, you either loved cocaine, pills, or weed..everyone drank alcohol though. One time me and the folks living there couldn't get the electric bill cut on for a week or two because we ain't have the funds so we pushed the only 2 lil couches together and we all hopped in that mf cuddled together for warmth. We always made the best out of any situation even if it was 20 degrees, snowing outside, with no electric, and literally only a couple canned goods. We'd watch a movie on someone's phone and joke and laugh until we fell asleep. If we had weed and couldn't get a rello we would use some line paper that had roses on each paper. So I'd tear the sheet of paper out, break down the weed, roll it up and we'd call it a "Rose Blunt". Most of the time it was soooo chaotic and drama filled, someone was always fighting, the cops were always called, etc but we were like a family of misfits fr.
I lived on the couch most the time but when the dude in the basement moved out due to all the drama and chaos I claimed that basement soooo quick. So I moved my lil stuff down there 10 min later. It took me a few days but I got rid of all the garbage, condoms, rello guts, dead cockroaches, empty liquor bottles (it was over a hundred no cap)etc and made it my own lil space. I had fell out with the girl I was fucking with in the home so I was glad to be able to separate myself from her so I wouldn't have to hear her fucking her new girl upstairs all the time.
There was an old ass dresser down there that I cleaned out and made it look presentable. Hella change was on the counter cause we were some broke mfs and we always needed a rello for some weed. I took the blow up mattress that was down there and put a blanket on top of it. The mattress had some holes in it so it deflated every few hours but it was still an upgrade from the small couch. I started brainstorming cause I didn't want the mattress to sit on the floor with the roaches so I got the 5 crates from the basement and aligned them underneath the mattress and that shit actually worked. The part that sucked was it was below freezing and the mattress was right below a window that wouldn't close so if it rained it would come inside or if it snowed which it was. So I threw another blanket over it to keep me dry.
My bestfriend at the time got kicked out by her ex girlfriend directly across the parking lot so she wanted to live in the basement with Me. So I took some stolen hospital blankets and tied them from one side of the room to the other so it was sectioned off and we would have our own space. My ex bestfriend was abusive to all her partners so I regretted her moving in from the jump. She had gotten back with her other ex girlfriend and so she was living there in the basement too. (At this point there was bout 8 people living in that 2 bedroom townhome). Every damn night my bestfriend would beat the fuck out of her girl over some petty shit but her girl would beat her ass back. Eventually they broke up too so I was glad it was just me and my bestfriend in the basement again.
So much happened in that crib, hiding fugitives, cooking dope, police every other day, stripper activities, constant fights, gang shit, selling drugs, crushing up and snorting percs, overdoses, scheming, ex bestfriend fucking the girl I was with. Imagine some bullshit happening every single day, you become so used to chaos and violence. I think that's why I enjoy my peace now because of the stuff I went through over there. It also built me to where if some shit goes down I'm not backing down for nobody, if something traumatic happens I'm not gonna freak out cause I've already seen some shit. Hell, I could have gone to jail for murder over there by hanging around some gang people but things didn't work out and I separated myself after I peeped some phony shit. You can't tell me nothing to make me judge someone that I love at the end of the day. I'm not rich, I didn't grow up with 2 parents, I didn't graduate from college, I'm not mentally okay, i don't even know what I want to do with my life. But I strive to be happy and to be okay. I strive to stay in love and live out my days with my wife. I ain't never ask for much because I didn't have shit fr. You can keep the materialistic things, the clubbing life, the steaks and lobster, all of that.
P.s: I might make this into a chapter series because this isn't even 1/10th of what happened in Ohio.
