The past between us ||Sim Jake✔️

이십 육

I stretched as I got out of bed. I checked the time it was already eleven, which was unusual for me. I never slept in, not even on the weekends.

I made my way to my dresser leisurely. My eye went to the broken frame which Seoyun had shattered a few days ago. Sara and I had stayed up late trying to glue the pieces back together but it didn't really make much of a difference, it was ruined. My heart clenched painfully. The photo-frame had been the last gift my mother had given.

I sighed as I removed the picture from the ruined frame.

It was a picture from the day I was born, my mother told me that one of the nurses had taken it. I was only a few hours old, wrapped up in a bundle of blankets. I gazed longingly at my mother's smiling face, she was looking down at me lovingly.

I cursed as the picture slipped from my trembling hands.

I gasped when a flash of my mother's familiar handwriting met my eyes.

My heart thudded wildly as I picked the picture up and turned it around.

I nearly collapsed.

Neat words were scribbled on the backside of the picture in my mother's handwriting.

I sunk down to the floor as my eyes started skimming over the letters,

"To my dearest daughter,

If you're reading this letter then I have already left.

I'm so sorry my love. I am sorry for all the pain I put you through.

There are things you need to know Eunji, things you deserve to know. Things I couldn't tell you when I was alive.

I need to tell you the real reason why we left. Why I left your father.

This won't be easy for you darling and I apologize once more for hurting you, but you need to know. This letter is the hardest thing I ever had to write.

Even before your father and I went for the check-up I knew I wasn't well. I'd been having terrible headaches and blackouts for over a week.

The doctor ran tests and the results came out a few days later.

I was sick. Very sick. It was worse than I expected.

I only had a few years left to live.

I was calm. But you should have seen your father Eunji, I'd never seen him so broken.

Your father talked to the doctor and asked him if there was anything they could do. We were told that there was a surgery they could perform on me before the disease progressed further, if the surgery was successful I would have a normal and healthy life but if the surgery was to fail I'd die.

They told me that the survival ration was fifty-fifty.

I had a choice. I could either having the surgery for a fifty percent chance of a healthy life, or I could spend the next couple of years peacefully with you.

I decided that I couldn't risk it. I'd be grateful for whatever time I had.

Your father didn't agree. I didn't blame him. We started getting into fights. He wanted me to have the surgery. He said that if there was even the smallest chance that I could survive I had to take it. He wasn't ready to lose me.

I knew I was being selfish but I was so scared Eunji-ah.

I knew I was causing him a lot of pain. I was scared he'd tell you and then you'd ask me to have the surgery.