We had just finished filming the last scene, even though my mind was filled to the brim with unwanted thoughts and feelings, i still pulled through. i took a swig of water, sitting in my dressing room, letting myself relax for once. Until i heard a pounding on my door.
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
I swiftly get up and open my door, wondering who has been banging on my door, these walls are thin you know? Once i open the door wide enough though, i lay my eyes upon a furious Wally, he immediately pushes past me. but he isn't facing me, so i can't really tell why he's here.
"Why're you here wal-" he cuts me off almost instantly.
"You've got some nerve." He muttered, as I stared at his back, utterly confused for the moment. But i stay silent to let him continue.
"You're incompetent, you shouldn't even be here. I don't what Dorelaine sees in a girl like you." My eyes widened, he forced his way into my room just to insult me?
"Why are you here Mr.Darling?"
"Because you're so Slow-Witted, you set everyone else back!" He yelled.
"You're not like us! you're just a poor broad who comes from the slums, with zero talent at all!
"Get out." i mumbled under my breath.
"Oh, isn't the poor doll gettin' bold." he chuckles, he really thinks this is funny?
"Get out Mr.darling, I am not kiddin' with you." i say sternly trying to keep my composure.
he finally turns around and makes his way towards me, pushing me onto the wall.
"I mean, you should just quit, Dorelaine would and could find a better gal then you!" he screams my ear and i shove him off. He ends up on the ground and he looks up at me.
"S'thats all you could do? Cmon, say something, or can you not do that either?" He teases.
"You oughta go straight to the looney bin with how you're actin'! Is your life so out of sorts that you have to ruin mine?!" I scream, my voice cracking as I do.
"I cannot stand you Darling. EversinceI came here. You've done nothing but spite me! Now get up and get out." I glare at him, he glares at me right back. Gets up and walks to the door, but before he walks out he whispered to me.
"You'd always be replaceable." And proceeds to storm out of my room. Once he leaves his words finally get to me. Slow-witted, incompetent, untalented. Those words strike my heart one, by one, until my heart is nothing but a sad puddle of nothing. I hadn't noticed but I had started crying, cries turn into sobs and sobs turned into wails. I slump down onto the floor, feeling useless. I can't believe I'm letting his words get to me, but what if they're the truth? I'm easily replaceable, I mean Mr.Dorelaine could find someone better, and then everyone would just forget about me. I know I set everyone back, but what if that's what they all think of me? Untalented. Unprofessional. Replaceable.
Replaceable.
Replaceable.
Replaceable.
Before I knew it I had thrown a glass vase at the wall. My sadness slowly faded away into anger. I start lashing out on my things, kicking, throwing, punching. Until my whole dressing room was in shambles, pillows on the floor, broken glass from the vase, chairs flipped and makeup thrown around. I breathe heavily and snatch my purse from the floor, wiped the mascara that ran down my face and storm out of the dressing room, pushing past the stage crew. I lay my eyes ahead only to see Wally laughing with Barnaby. Like he never had said those things to me, like he never went into my room, never called me out of my name.
Like he never hated me.
Pushing those thoughts aside, Barnaby waves at me and Wally stares at me with a condescending smirk, his eyes staring into my heart and soul, taunting me. It's like he's teasing me with the words he had spoke to me.
Over.
And over.
And over again.
Trying my hardest to not rip at my seams, and loose my job. I put on a grin and wave at Barnaby. And then I walk away. I walk by all of my friends, Poppy, Sally, Julie, Eddie and frank. And the most of all, Howdy. Howdy puts his arm on my shoulder, and I visibly flinched.
"Hey Darling, are you okay? I mean you've been flunking ever since this morning, been wondering what's been on your mind." He laughed.
"I'm okay. Now please let me go." I plead, not trying to deal with Howdy's confusing actions, I mean his actions is what got me here in the first place. But he doesn't move nor does he let me go. He just held onto my shoulder.
"Darling are you sure your okay, I mean you're actin' a lil strang-" before he could continue his sentence I cut him off.
"I am fine howdy! Now let me go. Goodnight." I yanked his hand off of my shoulder, not bothering to look back at him. I immediately leave the set and walk at a fast pace to my car. I slam open the door and slam it shut. Driving off, not sparing a glance at the set. Everything that happened floods through my mind. Howdy's weird behavior, Wally's Words, Me messing up..
Messing up.
It's not like it's the first time.
I mess up all the time, it's just a routine.
But why does it hurt worse this time?
Is it because of the pressure?
Is it cause of the stress?
Is it because of Wally?
Is it because of me?
Why am I thinking so much?
Why can't I stop?
Just stop.
Please.
Just stop.
But before I could think again, I see a blinding light in my vision, feeling a force against my car, feeling my head jerk back. The world seemed to be spinning.
I guess it did stop.
——————————————————————————— Hey y'all🗣️🗣️, another chapter, had to make reader a bit of a bitch towards howdy, sorry, but it's mainly because of the stress she was put through due to his rather confusing actions. But now she got a new problem to deal with smh, she can't get a break </3 save herrrr
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