IN BETWEEN THOUGHTS OF DENIAL

Between Thoughts

If l said it the world lacked in colour l would be lying... It's all full of colour but still feel so dull. It dose not feel  alive  yet so  numb... How could l habour no emotion. Am l hostile to the criminal setting of my subconscious mastermind. Even the sun heats my skin but dose not warm my heart. I am the one still standing at the sidelines in my own life. If l had to fall l doubt it would be hard and painful or would it be in love. Oh there is that feeling.. The malice and the dreadful intent chills me to bone.. Ice cold, why  l can only feel the vast chills l emitt to the world. L can never conclude to these times of vivid bluntness. Would l close my eyes and be let into nothingness, but l guess the void has denied my succumbtion. L never am warry of my limitation coz l feel like l have passed already... How can l doubt my commitment to shedding the charmlessness residing on my face. Only pain can vary in its own depth. The cut seemed to have suppased the walls of my soul. Only fate could elude from its original will and dive down into horrid uncertainty. The explosion seemed to have burned all of my thoughts and inner utmost feelings. The view seems to not be of the limelight. Superstition has me partly blaming it to an external force of a greater magnitude and that force's wrath on my soul. Are these the strings of life that portray the outcome of everything l have ever known.. If it is l want to escape from this box and cause damage to the malware. It's a distant thought that linger in my mind or a certain fondness to this seperation from my place of comfort.. Dependable am l, l doubt because it always seems like it wouldn't matter to how much l would strive to that extent. Even this thirst can't be quenched by water.Broken by my own tides of failure to compensate for the damage caused by my miscalculations for this equation to my emotional  interactions