the gauntlet of math // numberblocks short story

The Gauntlet

the ones threw thirteen and twenty-six into the villains' council. fifteen and twenty-one are locked away, somewhere else. their leader, none other than octonaughty, spins around to look at them. "ah, very good, my ones. ..have you schent those meddling schtep schquads away?"

"yes, we have," #1 answered.

"aaannd...qhwhat about thesche two?...."

#6 shook its head. "we couldn't harm them, sir. they shot most of our crew down."

octonaughty slammed the table. "QHWHAT?! WHO DID SCHTHEY GET?! QHWHAR WEAPONS DID THEY QHUSE?!"

"how are we supposed to remember all that?" #1 said to itself.

"I HEARD SCHTHAT! GO, GO FROM IN FRONT OF ME, AND DO QHWHAT I TOLD YOU TO!"

twenty-six shook his head. "interesting voice," he thought to himself.

octonaughty looked back at thirteen and twenty-six. "HEY, YOU! QHWITH THE DUMB GLASCHES! YOU QHWANT A FIGHT?!"

"what's with the voice, buddy? your teeth aren't that huge."

"YOUUUUU.....YOU SCHON OF A BITCHH!! TAKE THAT BACKH!!!"

thirteen stepped back. "errrr, f-flingyyy.....wh-what are you doiiiiing??"

twenty-six smiled. "he wants a fight, huh? we'll give him a fight."

octonaughty smiled. "alright then....NYLET'S SCHEE HOW GOOD YOU'LL BE AGAINST....MY FOURS!! C'MERE YOU TWO!"

two fours emerged from behind octonaughty. 

the first four rose a tennis ball launcher. "hey four. what's better than, *giggle* round things?"

the second four also rose a tennis ball launcher. "*giggle* round things. with BULLETS in them! *giggle*!!"

"round things..with bullets in them?" thirteen asked.

four #1 smiled. "that's right!" seven balls were shot out of the launcher, and as soon as the balls hit the ground, they fizzled out and bullets ricocheted all over the room. "duck four!"

"ah!! uh-oh..."

twenty-six stared at thirteen. "*ahem..* 'UH-OH?' that's REALLY all you had to say."

"w-well--" 

thirteen was cut off by a bullet that flew right past him.

"don't just stand there! do something!"

twenty-six shook his head, then he went out to shoot the second four, who must've been waiting idly for one of the heroes to attack.

thirteen ended up getting caught in the middle of everything. the first four's attempts have all missed, octonaughty had a pan in his hand, trying to redirect the failed bullets, and the second four and twenty-six were having a western gun showdown.

octonaughty looked at the first four with rage in his eyes. "how are you failing every schhot, you asshat?! he's not even moving!" 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! it's the stupid launcher's fault!" the first four screeched, shortly before almost shooting octonaughty twice.

octonaughty threw the pan at the four's face. "that's enough! I'm not going to schit here and watch you and your shitty aim all night. YOU ALMOST HIT ME, BASCHTARD!"

thirteen watched the four and octonaughty go at each other. this gave him enough time to run out of the scene of the attack, and go rescue everyone else. "hope I can do this..." he thought.