I think...I can often fall guilty to not taking my own advice a lot of the time. This can be viewed as hypocrisy, but I also think that many others, if they really think about some choices they have made can relate to me.
Back in 2020 - 2021, I was at the lowest point I have ever been. Some can relate to knowing the feeling...the true feeling of being alone. I mean...when you truly feel like there is nobody there, not downstairs, at school, or even around. During quarantine, I felt the true meaning of isolation. It didn't exactly help that my family moved to another town when schools were barely starting to open back up. In other words, I was the new kid in a school where kids were already broken into friend groups. I was alone. No friends, just work. I would not say I became a workaholic, but I really couldn't focus on much else.
Being in a new environment for the first time without friends, I was starting to feel lonely. Therefore, I was scrambling to find some sort of interaction with others that I could, in someway relate to. That is how I got here in the first place.
Now, was I in the healthiest mindset? No. Of course not. Don't get me wrong, I've "met" some good people on this app, but nothing can truly live up to hanging with friends outside of a screen.
I'm not looking for pity about my situation back then, I am doing much better now. But...I think there may be someone out there whom may be in or at least used to be in my situation back then.
So, if you're reading this and can relate to it in any way, this I say to you: it is ok to admit when you're not ok.
Bottom line is...you're lonely, and feel like you don't belong anywhere. You might even try to suppress these thoughts as you are reading about them now. Don't. Yes, I get it, this right here...sucks. But I also know this: When you're at the lowest you can be, whether mentally or emotionally or physically, there is only one way you can truly get better. Face change. Embrace it. Accept it. You might feel like you can't and won't ever fit in. Truth is, you do...somewhere out there there is a group of people whom can relate to, and most likely are where you are right now. You just have to be willing to find them.
You can do great things.
Enjoy life while it lasts.
