𝘙𝘦𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘺

Chapter 28

Song Recommendations

Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers
A Lot's Gonna Change by Weyes Blood
Heart to Heart by Mac Demarco

——

I was four years old when Black Matter manifested.

I haven't felt his warm, calloused embrace in twelve years. He is like an old friend. A childhood pet. A taste I had craved but had never experienced. He was a candy I was saving for a rainy day. A movie I had written onto a note with the intention of watching one day. A sunset that can't be replicated. A blue moon.

A flower plucked too soon.

I was four. I wasn't noticeably malnourished yet but I was beginning to tread into a life where it would be obvious. I wasn't yet shorter than my classmates. My weight was still at least comparable. My eyes were still bouncing and full of life. My hair wasn't missing in chucks and was neatly tucked into two thick braids by Inko Midoriya.

I had yet to slip from her grasp.

I was still eating dinner with her. She was still packing my lunch. She waited for Izuku and me outside of school and stood over us on the train ride to and from. She took me to the dentist and planned my birthday parties. She tucked us into Izuku's bedroom where two beds had been made up. She had begun filling one side of Izuku's closet with girly clothing and he didn't mind one bit. She cleaned my knees when I fell. She bought me my first bike. She wiped my tears when I got picked on at school.

I used to ask Inko if she was a princess from the movies.

She wasn't. But to me, she was.

Inko spent a lot of time on the phone at that point. I remember sitting with just Izuku during movie nights. The two of us peering over the back of the couch every so often to find her stressed, leaning over a stack of papers and grumbling to someone on the other side of the phone. I know mine and my mother's name was thrown around in what seemed like every other sentence. I remember her talking about how they couldn't find my mother to take her to court. I remember Inko arguing that there wouldn't even need to be a transition period or a foster family.

That if they could change my last name to Midoriya now, I wouldn't grow up to know the difference.

I do know the difference.

I wish I didn't.

Izuku's hair was wilder than it is now. He was the same height as me, the two of us constantly pushing our backs to one another as we begged Inko to declare who was taller. I remember the sound of our bare feet smacking against the hardwoods as we tore through the apartment playing "whack-a-hero" with pillows. I remember both of us being zipped into All Might onesies and running from each other. Our voices cracking with wild laughter and careless cries of excitement.

I don't remember every specific detail of my childhood at this point. Nobody can. I remember the things that stood out to me. I remember really seeing Izuku for the first time. I remember the feeling of Katsuki's warm hands guiding me. I remember all three of us wrestling at every chance and running around when Inko or Mrs. Bakugo would put a live video of All Might on the big tv. I remember that Izuku would sleep back to back with me every night because he had some obsession with protecting me if someone were to ever break in. I remember picking weeds and wildflowers for Inko and Mrs. Bakugo. I remember Katsuki accidentally blowing up my bouquet from his new quirk and him sobbing so hard that he locked himself in his bedroom for an entire hour.

I can't forget a single memory of Izuku. I can't forget putting temporary tattoos of pro heroes on our arms. I can't forget the feeling of his soft hand in mine. His innocent eyes. I can't forget the way his freckles bloomed like flowers in the summer. Or the way he wore his All Might sneakers every day for two summers before we fell into a puddle of mud and ruined them. I remember him sobbing as I tried to clean them off in a creek. I remember selling lemonade every day for two months to buy him a new pair.