🌹𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲🌹
𝖳𝗈 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎
(tw: blood)
It shouldn't be possible to suffocate on air, but still you were at a loss of breath.
Do it, you kept screaming at yourself, do it, do it, do it.
You suppressed a sob as you heard the moaning under you come to a slow halt. This was your chance, and it was so easy, like fate had opened a door for you- you just needed to step through it.
But your arms felt too heavy to bear the knife, too heavy to even lift at all. So you let them drop onto his chest, blood slowly drying and becoming sticky. You heard him chuckle, then felt him sit up with you still in his lap.
Tears were still slipping through your closed eyes as he embraced you, running his hands gently along your back. You couldn't look at him. But more than that, you couldn't bare to look at yourself.
"It's okay, my love," he kissed your shoulder, and for a moment you dared to take comfort in his words. "I understand now."
"No..." you whispered. He understood nothing. He had no idea what he was doing to you, no idea what you were going through.
"Don't feel afraid to let yourself love." he said with a smile that you could hear clearly through his voice.
"What?" you managed to say now, gaze fixated on his lap, trying not to dwell on the fact that he was still hard beneath you. He shook his head, his grin getting bigger.
He took the knife that still laid between you two and put it in your limp hands, helping you hold it. He brought it up to his chest and your eyes followed, confused.
"I'll help you, if my death is what you want." he doesn't elaborate, instead pushing the knife slightly into his skin, not flinching. Your eyes went wide, hands automatically pulling away, yet he doesn't let you.
"There would be no ending sweeter than for me to die by your hands."
His voice was so calm, like this was in any way a normal situation. You watched the blade go beyond skin, into flesh and felt the way he still kept pushing. By now he was suppressing pained groans, but his face was exposing nothing of the sorts.
"Stop it..." you chastised, like you would a child. But when he still kept going your tone became more erratic,
"Come on, you can stop now...!" you pulled away with all your might, tears threatening to spill again.
Finally, he let go.
You took a deep breath as you clutched the knife closely to your chest, thoughts of escaping now long forgotten. Your eyebrows furrowed, anger rising.
"What the-" you chuckled, but not in a happy way "what the hell, man?!"
Was he really about to fucking kill himself ?
Words burst out of your mouth uncontrollably, with a fury you would've needed moments ago.
"Are you insane?? What if I actually did it! What if you slipped and you fucking died! What then?!" you yell, and he simply looks at you with that stupid smile of his.
"Were you really going to leave me alone like this?!"
Your breath hitched at hearing your own words and he let out a laugh that made you jump.
Loud and hearty his voice echoed, his body trembling against yours, before he leaned towards you, giving you a quick peck to the lips before you could stop him.
"You have a strange way of showing your love, darling." he swiped his fingers over your cheeks, wiping away your tears and brushing aside your hair.
I don't love you. You wanted to spit at him, but the words tasted bitter on your tongue, so you stood quiet.
"I knew you wouldn't go through with it, but....heh, I... honestly didn't expect you to be so worried for me." he continued anyways, looking to the side with a flustered smile.
You felt a smile tug at the corners of your lips. You honestly couldn't tell if you felt like laughing or crying right now. Your emotions felt far too much and yet so far away- maybe you were still on drugs? It would explain how irrational you were behaving, at least.
His eyes met with yours again, with that familiar glint from before still lingering, but now a lot softer. You felt him massage circles into your hips, one hand moving to push at your pants.
Body recoiling, you scooted away. He frowned, but let you.
"Please don't." you whimper.
To your surprise, the hand that was about to reach for yours stopped in it's tracks, instead laying gently on your clothed thigh.
You heard him sigh, a familiar sting going through your heart. He wasn't the first you disappointed by your reluctancy to be touched, but for some reason with him it...hurt a lot worse.
"You're right love, I'm sorry." he chuckled, and though your face stayed neutral you couldn't help but feel surprised at how readily he gave up.
He swung his legs to the side of the bed with you still on him, picking you up before letting you stand on the ground beside him. Gently, like you were made of glass.
"You have to forgive me, I get a little...carried away sometimes." he scratched the back of his head, before taking a glance at the clock above the door.
"I eh, I should probably get washed up." he gestures to his bloody self, "How about I make dinner after that? You're probably still hungry, since you know ..."
His eyes drift over to the uneaten cake at the bedside and he quietly cursed himself. As much as he loved you, he shouldn't let his obsession get in the way of your health. Though to his relief you seemed to understand, nodding as you akwardly rubbed your arm.
Shit, you were cute.
"Yeah, okay..."
YOU ARE READING
- 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 - // 𝖸. 𝖡𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽
Fanfiction"𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆. 𝑾𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓" 𝖨𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁: 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗏𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗈 𝗀𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝖻𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗀...
