Water of Life

Chapter 1

My name is Samarra.  I'm sixteen and I have cancer. I most likely wont live to see my next birthday and the best thing that ever happened to me was this trip to Disney World the most magical place on earth.  But, I didn't end up leaving that theme park.  At least not the way I arrived.  They say that a dream is a wish your heart makes.  And well by this time the only dream I had, was that I would die with no pain, and that my family could move on when it was time for me to go.  I felt bad that I was leaving them.  Especially my little sister.  Yet, I guess I didn't really get a say in the matter. My life up until now had been meds, chemo, more meds when the others didn't work out and just a lot of pain.  I was kinda happy that it was finally all coming to an end.  I had come to terms that my life was ending and there wasn't anything I could really do about it.  Finally, I wasn't in any pain and I could breath feely knowing that all the meds and testing were finally over.  That within the next few weeks or months my family would be free to grieve me the right way.  Instead of watching me slowly wither away to nothing.  We had to drive to Florida to go to the park.  No one thought I would survive on a plane especially if something happened.  So we drove 60 hours from Michigan to Florida.  I got the fun part of choosing the way we went.  So I chose to go through the mountains. Which ended up being beautiful.  I think it took us so long because, I wanted to stop and take as many pictures as I could.  I looked pretty good having end stage cancer.  So it would be nice for them to have family photos without tubes and needles coming out of me.  This trip was for them as much as for me.  A way to say the final goodbye without being in a hospital surrounded by doctors.  I had already made reservations at some restaurant with dinosaurs for our last day.  The day before we left I was given instructions by the nurse and my doctor.  That with the way this cancer was progressing I may not make it back from this trip.  I told them not to tell my parents.  If they thought that this trip would put that much strain on me there would be no way they would ever let me leave.  And miraculous they agreed.  They told me that we had spent to much time in the hospital and it was time to get out into the world with what time I had left.  We were going to be in Florida for almost two weeks.  Going to the beach, Disney, and a few other places that everyone had voted on.  We ended getting an upgrade in our hotel. So we went to a very modest one to a suite.  I think the manager was just being nice.  Or really mean, depending on how you look at it.  The suite was on the top floor away from the other guest.  I guess seeing some girl who is almost bald, skinny, and white as a sheet isn't something you want your guests seeing.  But, this was fine for us.  I still had to share a room with my sister but she was ok with that.  We decided to start fresh and early the next day.  Since we had gotten in late.  So we ordered room service, also a first time for me. And ate until we were going to burst.  I had chosen to order chocolate cover strawberries in a waffle bowl of course shaped like Mickey's head.  So that night I went to bed with a full stomach, no pain thanks to the pain meds, and knowing that these two weeks may be my last.