jinx's new life

4: questions

Jinx had been living with lux for a few weeks. She didn't think that she would like living with someone but she had to admit that it was nice to hear someone other than mylo. The voices had calmed down a bit since she moved in with lux but he still appeared now and again.

She rested her hand on her now visible stomach. Her child was growing inside of her. Their child. Ekko. She hadn't told lux about him yet. He was all she could think about. He didn't love her, he couldn't. But would he love their baby. She wanted to deny it, to convince herself that she was doing him a favour by leaving. But she knew that he would be a good dad. Unlike the random men in zaun that would get women pregnant then leave them with a child and nothing else. He would want to know his child. But how far would he go to get his child. Would he kill her to get to it. She knew that they couldn't just play happy family's. She had hurt him. She had tried to kill him multiple time and she had killed alot of his friends. Did he ever think about her. Had he even realised that she had left.

That was the one thing she had wondered since she left zaun. No, she needed to stop with all the soppy thoughts.

He doesn't want you, he won't have even realised that you're gone. Not that he would even care

"He has to care. Its his child. Even if he doesn't want me he'll want his kid"

She left the small room which she was currently residing in. Lux was sitting on a small, tattered couch reading a book. She looked up when jinx entered the room.

"Finally awake" lux joked

"Didn't sleep" she didn't know if she wanted to mention the boy that occupied her thoughts all night she hadn't spoken about him to lux yet but she knew that she would ask about him sooner or later. By the look on lux's face jinx knew that time was probably now.

"What kept you up? Think about the baby? Or maybe the dad?" Jinx's face flushed as she tried to think of an excuse.

"You were thinking about him. Who was he anyway, you never told me" she could tell it was just innocent curiosity. She could trust lux right? She had been living with lux for three or four weeks now. She would know if Lux had lied.

"Ekko. He was just some boy. We used to be friends when we were younger. But not anymore. It was just a drunken mistake"

"You know, they say drunk words are sober thoughts, maybe he still likes you"

He will never like you. He was just using you, like everyone else. He will never want you. JINX.

Mylos glassy, emotionless eyes glared daggers into her as he whispered. Slowly the whisper got louds until the words became a mess in her mind. That one word being repeated over and over again.

JINX JINX JINX

That word that had haunted her throughout her childhood. No not her, Powder. That weak little girl had to die. Silco had told her that. Let powder die. If powder was dead why did it still haunt her. No she fell down a well.

"HE DIDN'T USE ME. HE HAD TO CARE. HES NOT VI, HE DIDN'T LEAVE. I LEFT HIM"

She hadn't noticed that she had curled in in herself until lux sat next to her on the floor. Lux's mouth was moving. She was saying something but she couldn't hear her over the overpowering voice of mylo. Still repeating that word.

"Jinx, it's ok, breathe, you're safe" she could finally focus on Lux's words. She looked at Lux's eyes. At first she expected to see fear, just like she had seen when she looked at vi on that night. But when she looked at lux all she could see was worry. She lunged at lux and gripped onto her in an awkward hug. Lux slowly returned the hug. For the first time in a long time she felt safe. Lux actually cared about her. She had a friend.

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After calming down she left their small apartment to clear her head. She found herself by the empty buildings she had blown up. This had become her space. No one else came here so she knew that she would be alone for a while. We'll, as alone as someone could be when there's an annoying voice constantly following you around whispering at you.

She picked up a bomb and threw it at one of the few remaining buildings. A fit of laughter erupted from her as she watched the building crumble. Piltover must be relieved to have a break from her chaos. She hated to admit it but part of her missed it. The destruction. Vi. The chase afterwards. But she wouldn't be able to do that again. Could a mum be a terrorist? Maybe she could be the first.

You'll be a terrible mother. You'll jinx the child when you first touch it.

No, she needed to be better. For her baby. That's all that mattered. Then the fear hit her. How the fuck was she going to raise a child by herself. Maybe ekko would help. No he'd try to take the child. But that could be for the best. At least with him the child could live a normal life, by zaun standards at least.

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By the time she was done blowing things up it was starting to get dark out. She walked home, avoiding the drunk people that lay passed out on the streets.

Why couldn't she get ekko off of her mind. She wasn't used to caring. When she got close to anyone in the past she jinxed them.

She opened the door to the apartment and walked in. She felt numb, her earlier episode had drained her. Too much had happened.

Lux was once again sitting on the old couch reading. She looked up when she saw Jinx enter the room.

"Are you ok?" She could see the pity in her eyes.

"I'm fine," she said before going to her room.