Sometimes you feel like you're holding on too tight, when the person you're holding on for could care less about you.
When you leave a school, a city, a country, you make promises to talk to each other everyday. To never forget each other. There are tears, but after a while, they get busy in their lives because you're the one moving away. One person gone from a group of people doesn't make a difference to the people in the group, it makes a huge difference to the person gone.
People get busy. You know you should focus on your new life and move on like they did, but somewhere you can't seem to forget them.
You guys text back and forth regularly. From "how was your day?" to "Dyk what happened today?"
After a while, the replies start to get dry from the other end. You keep on the consistency, but you can't keep on initiating the conversation. Texts lessen by the day. One day out of anger, jealousy, or FOMO, you don't know which one, you decide to stop texting first.
It has been months since you last spoke to them.
You try your best to hold on to some relations- be it friendships or relationships, you can't do it on your own.
There are some friends however, whom you barely text because you're waiting for the text for that one person so much, you don't realise they're still there. Yes, they are also busy in their lives, but they occasionally keep in touch like you keep in touch with them. Talking to them after weeks or months doesn't feel like anything at all. You don't need to search for topics to talk for, you remember old days and laugh and talk about what's going on in their lives. Friends like these are necessary for people like me.
Then there are people that you find out didn't care for you at all. They say distance reveals what people truly mean to you. It hurts even more to find out all those years spent with those people were a lie. Its all part of growing up I guess, and growing up is hard.
I miss talking to that one person, but my self respect stops me from texting first. I try to forget them but somewhere deep down, a part of me aches to see that one text from them.
We are all growing up. Hopefully I meet them again one day, and i'll be a better person by then.
