12 . Shruti

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Pain shoots in the center of my head and I know it is happening again. After so long , I'm feeling the same thing when memories of every smallest bad thing ever happened to me come flashing back. After a long time , I am experiencing the other side of me once again. I'm recalling my other half again , the ugly ,monterous demonic side of me . There is a negative and a positive side to everything and everyone. This is my negative .

The only person who stands in front of me right now is him, who triggered it again. I was very much successful in suppressing my demons through meditation, yoga classes and frequent visits to my psychiatrist . He ruined it all .
Right now , his face is pale and he looks like all blood has been drained from his face but , thanks to my ever so perfect brain , now I see him as the biggest villain , the one who had always planned to ruin me . Not only he destroyed our friendship but he also is destroyed me . Maybe that was his motive afterall . Maybe this is what he wants.

Stop overthinking .

Maybe he hates me to an extent that he is stooping so low. He thinks his life is bigger than mine while I'm just a pawn in his game.

Stop the damn ovrthinking .

Since childhood he must have planned of it all over and now I know I'm trapped , captivated and devastated for eternity. life is over, why don't I just die ?

He strides closer and closer with a water bottle in his hand . I'm about to take the water because already my throat feels so dry but he opens the cap and empties the bottle on my head . Water stream down my forhead , my shoulders drenching all my clothes. I wrap my arms around me and yell "are you crazy!!!!"

He tilts his head to the side and grabs me by the hem of my top yanking me closer . "Stop it"

"Stop what " I scream.

"Whatever shit is going through your head. If ever the thought of ending your life comes into your mind , let alone on your lips then I'm gonna break your damn legs . You understand?"

"I'm miserable right now and that is what you can say?"

"What exactly is miserable"he growls "look around you every damn thing in your life is perfect . Stop that shitty delusional mind of yours "

"Nothing is perfect, it's all an illusion, you don't know what I'm going through " my voice cracks as tears side down my cheeks.

Surprisingly he sighs and cages me into his arms. His heart is beating so loud , fast and clear . As if it will tear out of his chest . His rock solid chest rises and falls with each breath he takes .

He turns silent and this silence is killing me. It is suffocating.

"Shiv" I voice as he keeps caressing my back .

"Shiv " I speak a little louder but he doesn't say anything again.

Instead he grabs my wrist and starts walking .
"Where are we going "

"I don't know " Finally he says something.

"I'm sorry " I hold his forearm with my other hand .

"Apology rejected "

"I can't walk so much"

"Now you'll have to Dear princess because we're gonna walk to places that are far far away "

"Why " I ask and he stops and looks at me .

"So that you stay with me in reality rather than alone in your head "

My heart literally flips when he says so . He is supposed to be scared of my demons like he was earlier. He is supposed to run away , hate me , feel disgusted.

"You-- were not supposed to know " I say as my vision is filled by a motel building .

"Why " he casually asks and what should I say ? Because I feel embarrassed?

He turns to look at me and cups the side of my face "haven't you heard? If I love you, it means your demons can come too "

Butterflies swirl in my stomach and warmth fills my chest . I know everything is good but a small part of me keeps beating a drum. The one that signals something is wrong . Mostly it is an illusion but I anyways fall for it.

"We'll be late if we stay " I try to stop him.

"I'm already ten years late " he stops in front of the reception table . "Room for two , we'll stay this night. " He shows his ID and makes the payment while the girl provides me a towel so that I can dry myself .

My phone was in the car , so I have nothing with me except for a certain dictator.

"Why are we even staying here " I ask as he opens the door.

"Now that you are done running away, it's about time you pay up for pissing me the fuck off "
My heart sinks to my stomach as he locks the door behind me . I thought he was a nice guy just now but once an asshole , always an asshole.

I turn aroun for negotiation"I guess th---"

He pulls my wet top up removing it completely. He's not supposed to do it without warning . Scratch warning, he's not supposed to do it at all .

He steps closer and dips his fingertips in my shorts . My body vibrates and Chills run down my spine .

"S-shiv why d--"

"Shhh , you talk to much".

And you touch too much .

"Did I tell you "he looks at my face and I wait for him to continue , I mean the talking "I'm surprised how you transformed from a little irritating stuffed toy type of a girl into an absolutely sexy one. "

My throat closes and my core throbs when he looks at me like that.

"I heard you joined gym . Did you make this body so seductive for some other asshole when I was away ?" There is a threat in his voice and no , I didn't join it for someone else . It's just a distraction .

I shake my head when words refuse to come out of my mouth .

"Good , but I definitely am gonna enjoy it " his hand travels from my back to my ass and he yanks me closer . My hands land on his chest .

"I-- didn't mean to run " I lie through my teeth .

"Ohh you absolutely did heartbeat and you'll do it again unless you are punished for it , am I right or am I absolutely right bad girl"

I shake my head and he chuckles grabbing my hair in his fist to make me look into his eyes "Did you tie your hair ?"

A shiver runs down my spine and fuck!!! I wasn't supposed to forget that .

"I'm--- "

" tsk-- tsk " he leaves a soft kiss on my lips "before you step into the university , you need to be taught rules because you like fucking around and pissing me off . I hate it when you use that tongue to lie and make excuses . Let's see how good you really can use it " and his lips crash on mine again as he devours me whole. He sucks at my lips like a professional kisser and after a little teasing, his tongue enters inside my mouth. He pushed me backward and I fall on the bed with him on top of me . He grabs the back of my head and pushes my mouth towards his .

"So that you remember all my words and know who you really belong to " he sucks at the hollow of my neck and a little under it , he bites hard . Waves of pleasure shoot in my core as he leaves his mark on me.

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