episode one
" a new family "
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L*******, New York
A blue 2012 Ford Escape (we're time traveling into the future) very extremely incredibly slowly pulls up to the camera. The window slowly rolls down to show a young girl at the wheel with brown hair and GREEN eyes.
"Hi my name is Harper Holland, and I'm going to the Jersey Shore!!!!!!"
The camera then pans to her driving down the street at 4 mph
Harper is shown behind the register at Dolla Tree bagging items. "Please hold the bag from the bottom!" she tells a customer as she hands them the paper bag. The customer picks up the bag from the top and it rips and everything flies all over the floor. Harper looks at the camera Jim from The Office style.
Cut to Harper sitting in a reclined seat at amc theater
"I hope there's someone in the house that will go to the movies with me at least three times a week." Nicole Kidman is on the screen and the camera zooms in very close to Harper's face as she repeats every word.
Cut back to Dolla Tree where the camera is following Harper around the store.
"I'm going to miss my dog, Juno, the most while I'm in Jersey. I think I might cry myself to sleep every night because of it. "
She shows the camera every possible photo of her dog she has on her phone. Then she shows a framed photo she is bringing. (it's the photo used for every card) She kisses it.
Cut to Harper blowing up balloons with the helium tank.
"I'll probably make friends easily, it's not that hard!"
The man behind the camera asks, "what are you looking for in a guido?"
"What the fuck is a guido?"
Cut back to Harper driving in her Escape. She is in the drivers seat and the cameraman is in the passenger seat.
"This is my baby Sadie. I won't be driving her to Jersey though, I can't go on highways. My mom will drive me." Harper then very quickly turns towards the camera man and tickles him "TICKLE TESLA" the camera flies out of the open window and crashes onto the concrete
The intro ends with Juno running away from the camera because she is scared of the camera man.
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Also L*******, New York
A girl with brown orbs and short brown hair with the under layer dyed purple stands in a pizzeria with a whole pizza pie in one hand her other arm on her hip. There's awkward silence as she stands smiling for too long.
"Hi my name is Louise Maguire and I'm a pizzeria worker from New York!!!!"
A montage is shown of her looking very stressed running around the pizzeria. She tries to get a slice out of the oven but she keeps pushing it further in.
"I'm going to find the love of my life in Jersey, mark my words."
Louise forces the camera man to write down her words and the date she said it.
She stands with her hands on her hips, "I'm also a fighter, so if anyone tries me, I'm winning!"
Cut to Louise battling a short coworker with red dyed hair in the parking lot.
