I say this is a big step for me. I mean I going to go all out here. I am just putting everything out here. What I mean is I am going to do it. I can not believe I am going to do it but I got to tell someone this stuff I do not know how much more of it I can take. I try and ignore it but it doesn't go away that easily. So I finally thought what the hell I will just go for it and tell someone about it. I have been trying to do this a long time now. I mean yes there are some people that know I am AB/DL but that is not what I mean. What I mean is just tell someone all of it and maybe even get to go into little space even if it is not for that long. Getting to go into little space for even an hour or two would make a big difference on me. The hard part is finding that one person that you can trust all of this stuff to. I think I have someone in mind but I am still a little bit scared to do it. I mean what if they do not understand it or do not accept me because of this stuff. I do not give a fuck about people not accepting me about this stuff now there will always be people like that and I just got get over that now so ya I am just going for it now.
I just need someone to let me ramble about this stuff all I ask in return is help. That is all I just need someone to talk to about this stuff. I will tell you flat out right now I will not ask you to try out any of it. What I mean is I am not going to try and pull you into this stuff. I understand all the way if you are not interested in AB/DL stuff and I will respect that and I will not try and force this stuff on you if know what I mean.
All I need is someone to be there for me I am there for everyone all the Dam time for once I just want someone to be there for me. I know am not the easiest person to be around and I know it is not because I am mean or anything it is just I can a little bit annoying and yet people can up with me if I am helping them but right after that it is right back to acting like I am not here until they need something but I am going try to and put me first for once in my life and I guess in a wired ass way I am doing just that I am just spelling out my guts here. I guess this is the way I got to do. I do not know why I can not do this in person 😕. And I am sorry about this but I am putting me first this time and I do not give a fuck if others do not like it. I am just going to do this I find out that I need to explore this side of me it is part of me. I will do it I will.
Look at me acting like it is easy to do this but I think this going to the hardest thing that I have ever done. This is going to be one hell of a step for me let's just hope I do fall right after it or that I hit by the aftermath of it. I do not fucking care about that now I am going to go haed first into this and if I fall I will get right back up and try again. Some may think that this not that big of a step. I mean for someone it may be easier for them but steps are different for everyone and everyone going about differently. What I am saying is even the easiest step can be a big step and that is oh ok with me. Yes some may find this easy but for me it is one of the hardest things I am going to have to do I am just hoping I am not to late. I mean I have been trying for so long to do this but something always happens and I never get to but end now I am going to try right now I am going to sent this to one person I can trust all of this stuff to I am just hopping it is the move for me. I guess am just going head-on from here on I do not give fuck if I fall right on my ass I got to try and keep trying. It is all I can do right. I know how fucked up this is but I need to put me first this time and I know you will not care who I am or stuff I want to wear. I know you will understand it much better then everyone else I know. I am sorry about it but I got to try this I do not care if I fall hard doing this I am going through with this stuff. I know I have said that a few times but I am going to go through with it this time and I would like it if you could help me do it.
