* English is not my first language so please excuse me if there is any spelling errors I missed.* Also these first chapters might be short but the chapters will grow longer as the story progresses.
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I sit alone in the dimly lit room, my heart heavy with the weight of painful memories. It's been a while since I've allowed myself to revisit those moments, but today, I find myself unable to escape the haunting grip of the past. I can't help but reflect on the time when I was dating Eren, a boy I wish I had never met—a boy who shattered the fragments of my happiness and left me with scars that still ache.
In the beginning, our relationship seemed like a dream. Eren built it on a foundation of lies, weaving an intricate web of deception. He presented himself as someone he wasn't, someone who appeared to love me with all his heart. I fell for his charm, for his words that whispered promises of forever. Little did I know, those promises were merely illusions, constructed to conceal his true intentions.
As the months went by, the facade began to crack, revealing the darkness that lay beneath. Eren's true personality emerged—a cruel and nonchalant demeanor that showed no regard for my feelings. He reveled in my pain, exploiting my vulnerability. It was as if my emotions were mere playthings to him, and he took pleasure in inflicting wounds that cut deep into my soul.
I had confided in him, revealing the scars left by my past relationships, hoping that he would understand the fragility of my heart. But instead of nurturing my wounds with compassion, he used my vulnerabilities as tools of manipulation. He twisted my words and my pain, using them against me, leaving me trapped in the toxic confines of our relationship.
For a year, I endured the agony, my spirit slowly withering under his callous treatment. The love I once held for myself diminished, replaced by a deep-seated self-loathing. I questioned my worth, convinced that I was unlovable and destined to be forever trapped in a cycle of pain and heartbreak.
The weight of my sadness grew unbearable, casting a shadow over every aspect of my life. I sank into a deep depression, unable to see beyond the dark clouds that enveloped me. Thoughts of self-harm plagued my mind, whispers of escape that seemed to offer respite from the relentless ache in my heart. But even in my darkest moments, I clung to a flicker of hope, a glimmer of light that refused to be extinguished.
Years passed, and yet, the wounds of the past remained fresh, etched into my very being. I sought solace in therapy, in the support of loved ones, but the road to healing was long and arduous. The scars may have faded, but the pain they held lingered, a constant reminder of the damage inflicted upon my spirit.
There are days when the sadness still washes over me, threatening to engulf my fragile sense of self. But I have learned to fight, to embrace the resilience within me. I have come to understand that the love I sought from others must first blossom within myself. It is a journey I am still on, a path toward self-discovery and self-acceptance.
So, as I sit here in the depths of my memories, the tears streaming down my face, I hold onto the belief that someday I will find the love I deserve. I may have been broken, but I am not beyond repair. The scars may remain, but they are a testament to my strength, a testament to the battles I have fought and the resilience that courses through my veins.
I will continue to persevere, to reach out for the light that beckons me forward. For even in the darkest of nights, the stars still shine, offering a glimmer of hope. And within that glimmer, I find the courage to keep moving, to keep searching for the love and happiness that have eluded me for far too long.
