Love the Stars

Chapter 14: The Secret

Stella Knight

I was careful not to wake Xander this morning. I got up and got my dairy, took my meds, and went to go sit by my bay window. I started writing how everything is and how everything is going. I started humming softly and writing.

I heard some ruffling, but I know Xander is still sleeping. I need to tell him soon. I need to tell mom and Tony soon too. They don't know about my scars, and I'm scared they will find out from someone else. I didn't notice I started crying writing until I heard, "Baby why are you crying?" Xan said in his groggy morning voice. I mumble a quick shit and wipe away my tears.

He turns me towards him, facing him. "What's going on babe?" I can't hide it from him anymore. I start telling him, "I've been off chemo before for a few months when I was my dad." He sits there waiting for the rest. I take a deep breath before continuing, "Debra p-pushed me hard one time, and knocked me out. Rose found me bleeding on the floor." Based on his face, he seems to be seething, but he wants to my continue. I started to get scared and cry a little bit for this next part because I didn't know what he would say. I think he noticed. He grabbed my hips and placed me on his lap. "When I was told I would be off chemo for the next 6 months, I-I-I couldn't do it anymore, and I wanted to die. I went into my bathroom and sliced my wrists. Rose was worried, and came barging in. She talked me out of it by bring up you, tony and my mom. We tried to stop the bleeding, but nothing was working. We finally got it after I remembered what mom's dad used a lot, cayenne pepper. We've never brought it up again." I finished explaining completely, and I was scared to look at him. I was crying too much.

What I didn't expect next was being hugged, especially by two other sets of arms. I didn't know mom and Tony were listening when I told Xan. All three of them were crying. I know Rose is in my room too because I can hear her sniffles. She hates that memory, we both do.

"Why didn't you ever tell us?" They all asked at the same time, and I let out a small giggle when I heard them all echoing together. I responded back, "I didn't know how too, or want you to be mad at me." Mom shook her head, "Never sweet pea. If I'd had known, I would've brought you home sooner." Xander keeps kissing the side of my head and not letting me go. "I really want to punch dad for allowing that monster anywhere near you." Tony said with tears streaming down his face but a little angry. I started rubbing my wrists a little, Xander noticed, grabbed my wrists, and kissed them.

I turn around on Xander's lap, and he wraps his arms around me. Mom and Tony sit around, and Rose comes sits on the bed too.

"I'm sorry you all just found out like that. I didn't even know you and mom were listening. What were you both coming down here for anyways?" I timidly said and asked. Mom responds with, "We came to talk about your birthday, and what to do."

"We could do anything. I won't mind." I tell them. I really want to go bowling, to bowl and free food and drinks. Mom and Tony smile, while Xander kisses the back of my head.

Mom grabs my hands and looks at me a little teary-eyed. "My sweet pea, please talk to us if you ever get to feeling that way again. We love you so much, and we would lose an amazing human being known to man. You are such a beautiful soul, Stella, and we all need you in our lives. I do not ever want you taken from me and us. I don't know what the fuck is going on through your sperm donors mind, and his girlfriend; but I know damn well the people in this room love and cherish you." She wipes my tears away before continuing, "I love you my sweet girl." I smile softly because I haven't heard mom curse in a long time, "I love you too mommy."

Next was Tony. Now he looks like he wants to either hit dad, run over Debra, or both. "Mom you just swore, we haven't heard that in a long time." He said and we all laughed. "But she is right Stel, we can't lose you, so talk to us about anything. You my little sister, and I love you. I seriously understand why Solaris doesn't like that bitch and did all those things to her clothes. Even over the phone she sounds like a psycho bitch. I'm happy your still here, and that you changed your mind. I am shocked though, that you used grandpa's way to stop the bleeding. Smart and total badass." He finished saying, I giggled a little. "I always listened to grandpa, he's a genius in his old and wise age." They all nodded yeah, that's a true thing.

I have a feeling that when they leave, Xan is going tell me his. Rose doesn't need too since I've heard it before, and yeah, she was right. "Thank you for not being mad at me or upset. I was in a dark place because of Debra, and stopping chemo after the first incident got me down and in the dark. I couldn't find a way out that would fit my needs." I say, but not completely. I finally look up all the way at them. "I am sorry, but I haven't thought about it since, because I know I have you guys. My true family." I finished saying, and hugged my mom and brother.

Once mom and Tony left, I turned to Rosemary and mouthed 'thank you.' She got up and left, and I waited to see what Xan would do or say. He twists me around; then I tried to start talking, but he shuts me up by kissing me. Xan places his hand on my face, while I kiss him back, slowly. He is putting so much emotion into this kiss, and I feel his tears on my cheeks. He pecks my lips before pulling away and looking into my eyes, "I love you, Stella. You are my whole world. Thank you for telling me." He tells me softly, laying us down and wraps his arms around me. Never let me go Xander Stone.