My Football Heart - Pablo Gavi

No Hope

We've lost all hope, my Cancer is getting worse and worse as the days go by I can barely ever leave my bed. I'm missing being around Pedri so much and my pregnancy is draining it's just so hard to keep myself going.

I refuse to stop Pablo from playing football, I have Aurora round every morning to pick her up for school because I just cannot do it. Though we found out baby is perfect and healthy though baby might be an early one due to my illness.

I'm feeling so dull and so stressed out because all I ever wanted was a happy happy life playing football, going to the games, watch my daughter grow up to be such a stunning young lady, have my husband by my side and my family.

When your life's perfect something will always come by to ruin it all. "Macie! I'm home! I brought you a surprise!!" Pablo says as I hear him open the door while coming upstairs to our bedroom.

I had the television on I was re-watching the twilight saga. Pablo walking into our room and just behind him was Pedri, this gave me such a boost of energy as I sat up a little opening my arms to him.

Pedri wipes down his hands on his trousers then making his way over to me, he wrapped his arms around me hugging me as if it's been years since we saw each other and he just held me like that for a while because I think he started crying.

"I don't want to loose you Mais." He says while swaying with me a little then pulling away as Pablo sits just on the edge of the bed, he takes my hand interlocking our fingers with a weak smile on his lips.

"It's so hard. Baby is painful, Cancer is painful." I say laying back down due to the dizziness that had just rushed through my body. "Have you ate?" Pablo asks and I just shake my head. "Aurora asked if i'd like anything but I just wasn't hungry." I say.

Pablo shakes his head slowly and squeezes my hand so so gently. "I'll go make you food." He says then making his way down the stairs though I knew it was also an excuse because he is so so unable to watch me in this much pain.

He hates thinking that every moment he's with me that it's going to be the last and I won't ever leave him without saying I am going I will die happy and it'll be around all my loved ones.

My eyes focused back onto the television as he left the room only around twenty minutes later he came back upstairs with some noodles for me. I smiled at him as I took the noodles. "Thank you." I say then he sits himself next to me.

We stay there watching the football he had then turned on onto the tv before we heard the front door open up and Emmie yell for us. Pablo gets up quickly and makes his way out the room downstairs to collect Emmie.

He would've had a conversation with Aurora before he came back upstairs and places Emmie onto the bed who then sat snuggled in next to me. "Hi mummy you okay?" She asks with her arms around me then Pablo gets back in beside us.

"I'm okay my darling. How was school?" She smiles as she starts telling Pablo and I about her big day at school she got to do a play but it isn't ready yet and Pablo and I are allowed to go see it which we are actually excited for.

Emmie goes of talking about her day for about an hour then going down with Pablo to get her breakfast. I rested my hand against my stomach and just sighed at little holding it there. "I've got you darling." I say. "When mummy isn't here you've got Daddy and Emmie by your side."

I looked back up at the tv and just sat thinking about how they will feel without a mother I know I felt it but everyone's different especially Emmie when for around a year it was just me and her till we found Pablo again, I just don't want to leave them.

Throughout the night I had Pablo have Emmie in our room while she fell asleep cuddled into the side of me I turned to Pablo taking his hand in mine squeezing it just gently. "I don't want to leave you all." I say and he sucks in his cheeks at my words.

"I've got you Macie. I do." He says and wraps his arm around the two of us placing a kiss against my head a long one at that and I just close my eyes taking it in.