" Break up, break free, break through, break down. You would break your back to make me break a smile. You know how much I hate that everyone expects me to bounce back, just like that..."
The waves lap at the dock. The water pleasantly overwhelms all of your senses, the faint salty smell, the cool air the pulls in with every wave, the taste of the free blowing wind, the sparkling blue that reminds you so much of Bucky.
You sit with your legs crossed, palms up, focusing on anything but Bucky's glaring absence. But trying to forget was a lot harder to do when everything reminded you of him. Most of all, the quiet ache in your heart that hadn't lessened from the very moment he walked away from you. As though your heart was calling out to his.
You shut your eyes, shutting out the reminder that still sent twinges of pain straight to your heart.
You time the waves with your deep breaths. Slow, steady, calm, collected.
Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out...
Every time the waves break against the wooden dock, it overwhelms your senses again, each splash requires your full concentration. The tide starts to follow your slow breaths, each ebb and flow times itself just right. Each splash is careful, slow, it's almost peaceful.
"You're getting good at that."
You can't help but smile at the familiar voice from behind you, "You know, it's hard to mediate when you're watching me like that."
Sam humorously snorts, plopping down beside you. He hangs his legs over the edge of the deck, planting his hands on either side of him, "I wasn't talking about the meditating. I know you were having a hard time with control after the Blip, I knew you'd figure it out though."
Even with Sam sitting beside you, you try not to break your focus. Your eyes remain shut, legs crossed, and palms facing the sun, "It's about discipline."
"Hmm," Sam dubiously hums. "I don't think that's it."
You playfully scoff, eyes still shut though your concentration is now broken as the waves still beneath your feet. "So what do you think, Oh Wise One?"
"Ha-ha," Sam sarcastically laughs, rolling his eyes. He looks out to the water, watching as the boats come and go on the distant horizon, "I think it's about balance."
"That's what the meditating is for," you remind him.
"Are you? Meditating?" he wonders.
"I'm thinking," you honestly reply.
"Thinking?"
"Thinking," you plainly repeat.
"I used to do a lot of that," Sam replies. You open your mouth for a playful quip before Sam cuts you off with a pointed look. "After Riley died, after my parents died, it's all I did. I just thought and thought and thought some more."
"And then?" you urge.
"And then... nothing," Sam's words trail off into a long pause. He silently shakes his head, staring off into the still water once more, "There was nothing to do. A little thinking helped. The thinking I was doing, that kinda thinking, it didn't change anything. It didn't help me process it. Didn't help me grieve. And at the end of the day, no amount of thinking could bring them back."
It doesn't take much for you to understand what Sam's trying to tell you. You knew Sam thought you didn't listen to him at all. It was usually the opposite, you always took his words to heart. You took most people's words to heart.
You listen so carefully you can hear a hint of caution threaded in his words.
It didn't escape you that you had a tendency to make your worst decisions after long bouts of contemplation all alone.
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The Twin Flame: Grumpy x Sunshine
FanfictionIt's said that the twin flame is one soul divided amongst two bodies. A mirrored soul, always meant to be together. In order to grow, they must separate. Connected by one single thread of gold, they will always return. And when returned, they burn b...