listen and read:
My hands were clammy against the microphone. Usually I wasn't at all nervous when I performed, not like this.
"You ready?" Harry gulped, hitting my shoulder gently.
"I- I think so."
"It's alright Liam. Just two songs and we'll go home."
I nodded and walked to my position on the stage.
We sang, but our hearts weren't in it. I glanced and Zayn as he sang his solo but he wasn't there mentally. None of us were.
Our songs ended and I walked off the stage with the boys beside me. I grabbed my water bottle and took a huge sip from it, barely able to keep it down.
"We did pretty shit didn't we?"
Niall sat down on the amp beside me.
"Yeah, it's not the same Nialler."
"No. No it isn't."
He smacked my back gently and walked away, ducking into a room to his left.
"We better head off." Louis called getting his stuff together, "We have an early start tomorrow."
I nodded and complied, standing up and walking out to the cars that would take us home.
The ride was silent and we all knew why. We all felt incomplete and I looked at the other boys, sighing.
The car pulled up in front of our apartments and I swung my bag over my shoulder and walked inside, collapsing onto my couch and rubbing my eyes tiredly.
"You alright Liam? Something's wrong."
I glanced up to see Zayn's worried expression.
"It's... nothing."
Zayn simply shook his head and exited my lounge room, returning to his part of the complex.
I checked my phone to see many missed messages, all from Danielle.
Liam, how'd it go? Did you guys do okay?
I typed back a positive response and fell back onto the comfortable pillows, closing my eyes and falling asleep in a matter of seconds.
Wearily, I awoke to a silence. Absolutely no noise to keep me sane.
"Liam!?" Harry called, "We gotta go soon!"
I poked my head around my front door.
"Harry? Can... can I talk to you?"
He fixed his tie and nodded, "What's wrong Liam?"
I lead him over to my couch and gestured for him to sit down.
"I saw him Harry."
"Who?"
"Niall."
Harry shook his head as his breath hitched in his throat.
"You can't have se-"
"I DID!" I sighed, "Right after last night's concert."
"He's gone Liam! We're going to his funeral!" Harry was crying, he didn't even realise but tears poured from his eyes.
"I don't want to say goodbye! He's my fucking best friend!" My voice cracked and I drew in a sharp breath, "Niall... my Niall is gone."
"I know." Harry uttered, "My Niall is gone too."
He stood up, wiping his eyes, "You better go get ready."
I nodded and dragged myself upstairs.
Our arms all fell over each other's shoulders, looking at the grave in front of us.
"To Niall." Louis started, "Our brother."
"Our friend." I continued.
"Our band mate." Zayn whispered.
"We miss you." Harry croaked.
And with that, their arms let go of me and I stood alone to stare at his grave.
But then a pair of arms wrapped around me again, jolting me forwards a small distance.
"Don't leave me Liam!" The Irish accent that was all too familiar, "I don't want to be here alone!"
I shook my head and loosened his arms from around me and I turned to see his tear stained face.
"Please..." He whispered, "Don't leave me."
"Goodbye Niall." I walked past him and took a few heavy steps forwards. When I turned back he was gone, "We'll miss you baby Nandos."
