Mark VI, I felt, was far less convincing than any of the models I had
slaved over for so long with my teams of engineers. To my mind it
lacked that singular pithiness that would have enabled it to circulate
almost on its own. It was more like a bathing cap for those who
preferred to swim almost fully clothed. It was a struggle to get into,
which made me thankful that there were no further issues for the
nether regions (though how my glazed purple drawers would be
received should I have to confront a footman, an under butler, or even
a scullery maid - not to speak of an en face collision with HM at some
tartan papered corner of the corridors - I dared not think. Just another
demented claimant of the Triple Throne too preoccupied with
precedent to to put on his pants. The humiliation! I burned at the very
idea!).
"Congratulations!" a soothing but deeply personal voice announced
as soon as I had it in position,"for choosing the Mark VI Monarch Top
without the optional crevettes courantes border," steady on, I tried to
interpolate, I could do with those crevettes, but she was having
nothing of it."The Mark VI is jellyfish gene enriched to provide the
user with certain advantages not perceptible to the casual observer.
The Mark VI user will sense a pervasive, and growing confidence in
themselves as the lux genes, wholly circumventing the use of nah-lux
promoters, enables the wearer to circulate as gracefully as Aequorea
victoria in any environment." Here was a voice that was capable of
maintaining a hypnotic flow indefinitely, and I could well imagine that
she could have anaesthetising applications for light surgical
interventions. "Now that you are Mark VI garbed you are, as hitherto
solicitous but heavy breeding progenitors so often say, on your own!"
This was an unwelcome shock and what about Louise. "But first a
word from our sponsors" And onto the screen flashed the smiling face
of one of my engineers, remarkably tall, even for a basketball player
and without the gracile build that normally characterises those for
whom the average doorway is about as commodious as a croquet
hoop (and how many times had I made a note to myself on palace
doorways, surely an indicator, if ever there was one, that a very much
larger creature than the humble Homo sapiens sapiens was
circulating within their walls).
"Hi there!" he announced in a manner that imbued the informal
greeting with the gravitas of an encounter between La Salle and a
chieftain of the Mississippi flood plains, "you are set to go! We'll be
