Rises the Moon (solangelo)

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He tried to finish the soup, but he was uncomfortably full already. After a few bites, he gave up and just put it in the fridge, going back upstairs with Nico to hang out. Nico waved hi to his sister as she came out of her room and let out a soft 'hey' before retreating to his own bedroom. 

Will sat on the bed as Nico went to his desk. "So, um... What should we do?" 

Will shrugged. He'd never had this much free time before. 

"Well... We could play fireboy and watergirl, if you want." He offered, picking up the laptop and sitting next to Will on the bed. 

"Oh, sure. Cool." He watched Nico pull it up. "So, um... How do you play?" 

Nico looked over at him in disbelief. "You, um... You use the wasd for watergirl, or arrow keys for fireboy. You've... Seriously never played it before?" 

Will shrugged. "Nope." 

"Dude, did you even have a childhood?" 

Will sighed. "The more I think about it, the closer I'm leaning to no." 

Nico whined a little. "... So, do you wanna be fireboy? The arrow keys are closer to your side." 

-

They played a couple levels together, Nico showing Will the ropes until he got the hang of it. Dinner came and went, not much drama this time. Hazel came down from her room, and things seemed so much more open than they did at Will's house. People talked about things here, openly disagreed with each other. 

Will barely touched his dinner, and when he got back up to his room, just as Mr. diAngelo had promised, was an air mattress, still in its box on the floor. "Do you want any help?" Nico asked. "I know I look frail, but I can work an air pump just fine." 

"Oh, sure... Thanks." He went to open the box and handed the air pump to Nico, who started filling it up. "If you need any help, just tell me." 

Nico rolled his eyes. "I said I could do it by myself." 

"I know. I just... Wanna feel useful, I guess." He went to sit on the bed. "And I feel bad. For, y'know, staying in your room, in your house. I wanna make up for it somehow." 

Nico looked over his shoulder, concerned. "Will... You know you're welcome here, right?" 

"Yeah, I know. But... I still feel bad." 

"You shouldn't." He stopped working the pump for a bit, plugging it up and giving Will his full attention. "You deserve a safe place, y'know? You deserve to relax and... Y'know, be yourself." 

Will didn't respond for a long time, watching Nico finish pumping air into his mattress. "... What does that even mean?" He asked despondently. 

"What does what mean?" He asked, sitting on the couch next to him. 

"That whole thing about 'being yourself'. I mean... I know what it's supposed to mean, but... I can't. I don't even know where to start." He felt the words form on his tongue, and realized just how messed up he really was, and finally let himself cry. "I don't... Feel like a person." 

Nico looked over at him sadly. "Oh, Will..." 

"Everything I think I am is someone I invented as a kid. All so I can appeal to other people, and they won't get mad at me, and I won't get hurt. It's... It's a mask that I've worn so long I forgot what my real face looks like." He looked over at Nico, who wore an unreadable expression. "Sorry, this is getting depressing." 

Nico shrugged. "Your life seems depressing. Seems like you needed to vent." 

He sighed. "Yeah... I did. And... It helped. A lot." He admitted. "... I hate this. I hate that I'm not fine anymore." 

"It sounds like you were never fine." 

Will chewed his lip. "... Yeah. But I could convince myself I was. That it wasn't that bad, that everything was normal. And now, I've said everything out loud. And there's no going back." 

Nico took his time responding, fiddling with his fingers. "... I felt like that too. Not exactly, but..." He shrugged. "... I used to think that it wasn't a big deal, my, um... Disorder. It wasn't insecurity, it was just... I wanted to hurt myself. And I figured that, if I stopped eating, I could get my fix of pain without leaving any scars. Without getting caught. Everything was going smoothly, until a few months after. I passed out going down the stairs, woke up in the hospital with my dad and sisters standing around me worried, and... My first thought was 'oh shit, this is a problem now', y'know?" 

Will hummed. "That... Sounds really awful." 

"Yeah, it was. But now, I can use it to relate to you. So... That's gotta count for something." 

Will smiled a little. "Yeah. Thanks, by the way. For, um... Letting me know I'm not alone." 

Nico stood back up. "Sure thing, sunshine. Now, let's make your bed so you can lie in it." 

-

They got out spare bedsheets and a pillow for him, and he laid down on the air mattress, watching the sky get dark from the window. "Night." 

Nico looked up from his phone. "Going to bed early, huh?" He asked. 

Will shrugged. "I'm tired." 

Nico smiled and reached for his earbuds. "Fair enough, good night." 

Will slid his eyes closed, letting himself sleep.