5.30.23

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hehehheheheheheheheh my name is zachary but im actually a girl 

actually i dont even know if im a girl tbh because when i was in 6th grade i was full on trans to the point i said my pronouns were he/him and i like uh wore cringey boy clothes from walmart and i was tiktok emo (actually tiktok alt 2021) i hated that phase and its left me in a state now that i dont know what the hell i am i still look like a girl though but i have bangs that idk what makes it better but yeah

so basiclally i got bangs over the summer of 2022 when school was out and from goin g from tiktok alt 2021 i somehow started dressing grunge and made it my whole personailty but then i started getting into deftones and uhhh i forgot like rob zomibe and whtie zombie and kittie and all that cool stuff and whrn i got in that phase i got long bangs that were originally going to be curtain bangs but my mom cut them and i was looking like that berries 2021 tiktok guy. so that happened and i was stuck like that for about a few hours and i turned hardcore emo at night under the blankets. so i started off school like that, yk i also didnt go back to school shopping either so my first day of school clothes were this random black jeans from 6th grade and my wanna be cis guy grey hoodie i got form the boys sections in walmart. (i still like that hoodie tbh)

i was doing good for awhile and then i got obsessed wit spongebob and i got a spongebob bag from spencers around september when i finally went back to schoo l shopping for school supplies and clothes. but then that was a bad choice because i first wen tto hot otopic because at the time id die for hot topic. i was actually turning emo. emos r cool but the way i was acting, i was not cool at all. anyways i started actually dressing emo and listening to emo stuff. i was kinda a poser tho and i was getting back in my tiktok 2021 alt era

during that time around the middle of september my mom made me cut my bangs, which was horrible at first ub then she curled it however she wanted and it was actually nice. so my bangs started growing and it was actually nice, i liked it. until she randomly cut it from me and it looked fso fucking awful. 

i grew out those bangs, and i was still emo and stuff and was lowkey getting bullied behind my back. but during the time of september, i hated emo music and didnt like listening to it anymore, so then i remembered back in 6th grade, and that may, i listened to cannibal corpse. i still have my shirt i bought from may 2022 of 6th grade. I remembered that i atually listened to them so them i went to listen to them again and went hardcore for death metal. 

now bein gin  death metal, i was feeling so coool, but i still dressed emo because although i didnt want to be emo, i dressed hella emo. this continued, and i was actually proud of being emo. then i turned emo again. but then before christmas break, my bangs were getting pretty long again, they went over my eyes and almost touched my nose, so i was happy to grow my long bangs again. BUT THEN my mom made me cut them even tho i wanted it grown out and took me to deadass walmart salon and against my will cut them ABOVE MY EYEBROWS. and lte me tell you this, i was actually getting a crush on this boy in my class, but idk if yall want me to tell yall bout him. anyways, we were getting pretty close, i fell hard for him, BUT THEN I GOT MY BANGS CUT. so i came back from christmas bangs with bangs uglier than a whole ass edgar. 

i wanted to kill myself. 

my bangs lasted until march when they actually looked okayish. APRIL, i finally got my bangs back and i was praising the lord thank you over and over agin. i didnt look stupid. but then in april, i realized what i had become. i was dressing emo, but i wasnt'. that snapped me and i stopped wearing those emo clothes and actually wore pretty neat stuff. Back in like december tho, i got a morbid angel shirt i NEVER WORE. it was from hot tpic, but man that shit was fucking badass. search it up if you want, just search up morbid angel in hot topic and youll find the shirt, it's a literal goat head, but its such a smash.  

anyways, i actually started getting into black metal too in april. then i got into dsbm and all that shit in just in like a whole ass month. my music taste changed dramatically. DRAMATICALLY. so anyways i was cool from there yk, ? im not longer emo, but i still have those god awful clothes that i want to sell when my mom is having a yard salle. anyways, i dont have the courage to call myself a metalhead for death and black metal becaus eim scared of elists. however you spell it man. but anyways yeah. 

do yall want more life stories because yeah. i only remember stuff from like 5th grade and up so whatever. imma do corpse paint, but dont bully me for saying this because i've only ever done corpse paint in october for halloween but i was deadass a poser using jasmin beans shit tiktok ass corpse paint. so yeah. i actually know how to do it properly now. 

i hate my life tho like yua

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