For someone looking from the outside, the Roy family seemed as put together as any other precocious and morally ambiguous family did. A family who fought at each others throats like wild dogs.
Though once Matilda got close enough to the Roy's to pee...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Roman's whiny voice reverberated through Matilda's AirPods as she exited the elevator on her floor, waving to her small team of data analysts with a warm smile. She liked her team, they didn't bother her all that much because they were always so deep in their data. No matter where she worked, she found that the data analytics teams were always the least political, they just let themselves be absorbed in a world of numbers.
Her office was small, basically a glass cubicle, but it was private and it was hers. It had her desk, her chair and a second little sofa in the corner for guests which Roman liked to call the 'cuck seat' but that's all she really needed.
"I can't just 'come to Japan' Roman, I have work to do. You know that word right? Work? It's where you have to-"
"Fuck you, I know what work means. As a matter of fact I workedmyassoff today," he snapped, "But I'm bored and I'm at some fucking dinner where nobody is speaking English and I'm alone because Gerri got food poisoning," he whined.
"Oh! I know someone you could ask to drop everything and fly to Tokyo to stop you from being bored – your girlfriend," she said cynically.
Roman was still very much in a relationship with Tabitha despite their qualms about sex. She'd explained their situation as 'eunach besties' which felt kind of weird to hear out loud. She had confided in Tilly on the plane ride back to New York that the closest they had gotten to sex was him masturbating 'kind of' next to her once.
"Just bring your laptop and come work from Tokyo, I need you here," Roman sulked, his pouty face basically audible through the phone.
"Oh you need me do you? That's so fucking lame. Fuck, we should get a swear jar but instead of swearing it's just the rare times you say something nice," she joked.
"Fuck you, eat a dick. Have fun with your empty jar of nothing," he spat.
She hadn't seen many of the Roy's since the wedding in England. The morning after they all woke up sleepy eyed with messy hair and pounding hangovers. Kendall looked a lot worse for wear which surprised her because after they had slept together, she had gone back to her own room with him looking relatively normal. The next morning at breakfast however, he looked like he had just witnessed a murder, a completely disheveled shadow of a man.
Kendall didn't fly back to New York with them, instead opting to check into a fancy drug addiction program in Iceland. Roman was missing too, flying straight to Japan with Gerri to rectify a certain satellite explosion issue. It was relatively uncomfortable flying on their private jet without the two Roy's she was closest with. She didn't count Greg as a proper Roy, he was too awkward to make her feel any calmer near Logan.
"What if I send you a picture of my dick just for funzies," Roman suggested.
"It's nine in the fucking morning Roman, I haven't digested my breakfast enough to properly throw it all back up at the sight of your tiny penis," she scoffed.
