the upstairs room

.><. three .><.

robert sat like a child in the steaming bath, hunched and still while he loosely dragged his hands through the water. losing himself in the calming noise. he finally had a chance to look at himself and oh... steve was right, he really had made an absolute mess of himself last night. he definitely had the marks to prove it. steven had run the bath for him in a painfully domestic moment, the thundering of the running water stopped and steven poked his head back into the bedroom. he stroked robert's face and urged him out of bed, leading him down the hall with a stack of towels in hand— if there hadn't been quite so many bitter feelings left, it would have made him yearn for simon, but he knew more than anyone that he needed to move on. who better to turn to than steven, with his endless doting.

'you'll need to wash all this off' he had said while lowering his gaze to the dried spunk that still remained on robert's midriff. 'besides, it'll help your joints' he mumbled, leaving a quick peck on robert's nose 'god knows they must be sore' they shared one last assuring kiss before disappeared off to check on the state of his living room, and robert was left in the cramped bathroom to cleanse himself of the night before.

he sloshed some of the water over his back with his hand before returning to his previous stillness— simply too worn out to be bothered with properly cleaning himself off. he spied a fluffy, pastel loofah on the corner of the tub and grabbed it. submerging it, then scrubbing his midsection. there were various bruises coming to the surface; on his thighs, his hips, one yellowed splotch on his arm. a couple of scratches and smears of his own lipstick filled out the rest of his form; each one a sacred memento of the night before. under this inspection, each mark brought the memories of his debauchery even closer into focus.

last night he took the train into london on a whim. the balmy night air he had enjoyed all summer now held a sharp chill. he was desperate to escape from himself, from the mess he had made of his life at home. losing simon had been hard enough and the dissolution of their relationship had all but destroyed him, but after the tour had ended, robert was left with no other option than to move on. he still had laurence after all, happy as ever to keep going with the cure, and mary of course. his one real constant in life. . .

but after one particularly difficult fight with her he was headed straight to steven severin's flat, hoping it would help him to clear his mind, or forget some of his worries for a night. severin was one of his only true friends these days after all. he was used to spending the night at steven's after gigs or parties in the city, but he knew this night would be out of the ordinary. see, the last time they had spoken on the phone it was clear to robert what steven was implying with this particular invite.

'i'm having a couple of friends over on saturday, rob'

his voice was dark, it hung heavy in the air between his ear and the receiver. each word was soaked in his distinct tone. full of doting, saccharine sweetness that that sat on the outside of each of his most sinful ideas.

'it'll be great fun if you can make it... they'll love you petal'

robert knew what happened among severin's friends, at their parties. he was used to hearing stories of them recounted by steve during their late night conversations. whispered memories, recollecting long nights of scandalous group sex. his face would burn at the descriptions steven gave, only for steven's gaze to swell with lust. he would smile at robert's supposed purity while he spoke of writhing piles of naked bodies, humid rooms filled with the damp scent of sex, the joys of watching, of being watched. he would chew on his lower lip and cross his legs to cover up his swelling erection. though it excited him, dear god it excited him, he had been so hesitant to ask anything more. yet that afternoon, something deep inside of him knew what sort of invitation the phone call was. it struck a primal urge of curiosity, of arousal. the two hadn't spoken since then, but robert knew the offer would still stand.