Forbidden Love (English)

Prolog

Hey people!
Welcome to my very first Haikyuu FF. I wish you a lot of fun reading it and I really hope that you'll like it. 🤭
Please don't be too hard to me if the characters don't live up to their true image, but I just love portraying the characters in a way that's different from how they actually are. 😊
This FF is written from the point of view of Wakatoshi Ushijima (one of my favorite characters btw hehe).
I'm looking forward to your feedback!

Kind regards, your Rinoa

PS: I simply copied everything through Google translator, I hope that it all makes sense and you understand what I wrote there 😅
Happy Pride Month to all of you! ❤️❤️❤️

Prolog

My name is Wakatoshi Ushijima. Many of you will be familiar with my name. After all, I'm the captain of the volleyball team at Shiratorizawa High School. For a long time, I've had secret feelings for my best friend and teammate, Satori Tendou. I have no idea how he would react if he knew. But I don't care. Because even without him knowing about my feelings for him, I enjoy every single second around him. It doesn't look like it, but it makes me happy to have him with me. Every time he is with me, I feel a pleasant warmth that flows through my whole body. I could listen to him for hours talking about anything. Even when he spouts the most bullshit, I'm happy to hear his voice. You could almost say it's like balm for my soul. And yet... my feelings for him make everything a lot more complicated than it already is. You want to know why? I'll explain it to you...

As you know, our school has strict rules. Not just anyone is accepted at this school. Even the entrance exam is very demanding and only a few manage it. No wonder, then, that Shiratorizawa is considered an elite school. But nobody knows what goes on behind the walls of this school. Nobody but the students and teachers of this school. To keep it that way, we had to sign a non-disclosure agreement at the school enrollment ceremony. Anyone who resisted would be punished. For this reason, it is also forbidden for unauthorized persons to enter our premises without the permission of the headmaster. The penalties for breaking the rules can vary. But we'll get to that later.

I myself have had problems with the principal because I've already broken the rules a few times. So far I've been lucky and it's either been a warning or  a detention. However, during my last rule violation and the resulting conversation with our school principal, I was given a clear message that I would have to reckon with harsher consequences for the next rule violation. And then I wouldn't have anything to laugh about anymore. I was then threatened with a temporary suspension, club ban or I could even be expelled from school completely. I couldn't and didn't want to risk that. At the same time, I didn't know how much longer I could hold back my growing feelings for Tendou. But if I took that risk... I probably wouldn't only lose my best friend, but he'd be in trouble as well. And all because, thanks to our trainer, according to the school rules, it is strictly forbidden to have a same-sex relationship.

Yes, you get that right. Same-sex relationships are forbidden in our school. And that's also the reason why I suppress my feelings for Tendou as much as possible. In the meantime I even manage to hold back all emotions in me. I can't even remember the last time I smiled in public. Did I ever do that at all? Sad but true. The only one who ever saw me smile was Tendou. I didn't even smile for my own family. At least not that I know of. And if I did manage to smile, it was fake. Only Tendou, my best friend and secret love at the same time, was lucky enough to get a genuine smile from me.

Ever since I became aware of my feelings, I've wondered why our coach objected to such a relationship. At first I thought it would be because of that, that he feared that we might neglect the training or not take it so seriously. But then I met Toru Oikawa in the preliminary round for the spring tournament, as I have done so many times in recent years. In this encounter, we did not face each other as rivals, as his team had recently lost to Karasuno High School. At first I didn't want to believe what he revealed to me during our conversation. "Unlucky in the game, lucky in love" - those were his only words and until recently I didn't understand what he was getting at. Less than two days later, everyone at our school was talking about a single topic: Toru Oikawa had announced his engagement at a public press conference. The wedding with Hajime Iwaizumi should take place next summer. Our coach then said he would never tolerate such a relationship. I wondered if he might have been hurt himself then. And then I overheard a conversation that wasn't meant for my ears. But it explained a lot for me. I remember he was the one who demanded that this rule be introduced because he couldn't take it. The principal mentioned that he understood his situation but also shared his concerns about it. Our coach then kind of pressured him so that the rule was implemented. After involuntarily watching this conversation, it was clear to me: something had happened to our coach in the past that would explain everything.

It had been a few weeks since that conversation and I was lying here in my bed late at night thinking hard about what had happened in the days and weeks that followed. In the final against Karasuno High School, we all reached our limits. Everything was asked of us. But it wasn't enough. In the end we had to accept defeat. I remembered that nobody dared to say a word on the bus on the way back. We were all very tired that day, but sleep was out of the question. Everyone seemed to be thinking for themselves what had gone wrong. When we arrived at our school and gathered in the sports hall to talk about this defeat and I, as the team captain, was trying to find the right words to motivate my team, it was our coach who stopped me. But instead of constructive words, one accusation after the next rained down...

"What was that? Some of your assumptions were lousy! You played like beginners, that's not how I trained you! And what about your concentration at the end? You clearly made too many mistakes and wasted points! Did you get scared? Why haven't you digged in enough?"
"Stop it! Enough!” I interrupted him and gave him an angry look. After that, I turned my gaze to the entire team in front of me and continued: “We all did our best. In the end, however, we had to admit defeat. We can't always win. And if I'm honest...that would eventually get boring. We may have lost today. But that won't happen to us a second time. Next time we will beat Karasuno. And then we'll be back on the field as representatives of Miyagi Prefecture at the spring tournament in Tokyo. Until then we will train and fix all our weaknesses so we don't make these mistakes again."
“What are you thinking? You dare interrupt me?" I noticed how our coach angrily approached me, but I didn't let that deter me or upset me. “I had no other choice. As a team captain, I have a responsibility to make sure everyone is comfortable. Even if it's not really my style, butwhat the team needs right now... are words of encouragement instead of accusations,” I argued.
“And you think you'll achieve something with that? I really expected more from you."

"Wakatoshi's right!" I heard yelling across the gym.
That voice sounded more than familiar to me. It was Tendou's voice. “There is no point in blaming someone for our failures. We are a team and as such you are not alone on the field,” he continued. Wait, those words...I had heard them before... "Satori, did you just quote Karasuno?" Was my question, which I unconsciously simply said. I saw our coach get even more angry and run towards Tendou. He raised his hand, reached out and actually wanted to slap him. But instead, something happened that not even I would have expected myself... A teammate from our team jumped right in between and right into the angle where our coach directed his hand. Just a few seconds later, that hand hit him square in the face and he fell to the ground. Everyone stared in shock at the situation unfolding before our eyes while Tendou and I helped him to sit up again.
"You okay?" I asked him, looking into his eyes. He barely managed to hide his tears and nodded at me. "That was brave of you, but you didn't have to do that. Thanks anyway.”, Tendou said and bowed slightly in front of him. So it wasn't a joke... we all knew it was going to happen eventually. And a member of our team even said it in the game against Karasuno. "If this wasn't an official match he would have slapped me..." Those were his words... and now it had actually happened. “I hope you now understand what this is about. It doesn't matter how strong you are...you say you did your best today. As you can see, your best wasn't good enough! Which means you have to train a lot harder. Training is over for today. I'll expect each of you here in the hall on time tomorrow morning, understand? Being late will not be tolerated, but will be punished with a 10 kilometer run. Each of you will practice accepts and serves tomorrow. That's all for today." Those were the last words of our coach. After that he just left us all and walked out of the gym…
After a while, in which there was dead silence in the hall, my eyes fell on my teammates, who all hung their heads. I had to come up with something urgently. "Hey! Don't let that get you down, okay?" I spoke. I finally understood why we had to sign this non-disclosure agreement. "I give you my word. Something like today...will never happen again!" I added. "But Wakatoshi..." Tendou interjected, but I cut him off. "Don't worry. Especially not you, Tendou. If you don't feel well or you don't agree with the training methods...then don't hesitate, talk to me. Don't be afraid. I'm always available for you. " The whole team looked at me understandingly and nodded. "We should go to our rooms now. You heard the coach. If you're late tomorrow, you'll have to run penalty loops." "Understood." I heard the team call in unison and then everyone ran in the direction of our club room to change and then go to the room...

I had promised my team that day that nothing like this would ever happen again. But unfortunately I couldn't  keep this promise...