PROMISCUOUS BOY

Chapter 45: Maybe it's for the best

You leaned back, your posture straightening. Your eyes widened, your eyebrows raised, your mouth fell open. You froze.

Ramona went silent, she seemed as shock as you. "What?!" Ramona said, disbelief filled her voice. "Katrina." she said. "I have given her many chances that no one else knows about, she saw this coming. And to be honest with you, I knew it would end like this. You don't know when to shut the fuck up y/n." Katrina said, as she stood up and pressed her hands against the desk, leaning forward to you. "Katrina that's not fair." Ramona stated, "we need y/n. I need y/n." she added. "Well she should've thought about that then."

Your breathing began to hitch, as your breathing moved up and down rapidly, you nearly fell but Ramona caught you, holding you up. Your eyes looked around, your heart bouncing and beating in your chest. Your throat began to close up, your fingers and feet felt numb and you felt like if you didn't breathe so heavily and quickly you couldn't breathe at all. You were breathing, but no oxygen was being inhaled.

"What's wrong with her?" Katrina said, leaning away from her desk and going around it. She stood next to you, as Ramona rubbed your back. They both looked at you with concern, but Ramona knew what to do. Ramona has seen you go through this before in front of her, many years ago.

"She's having a panic attack."

Katrina's eyes widened, "WHAT?! WHAT DO WE DO?!" she yelled. "Don't yell you aren't helping!" Ramona told her off, Katrina rushed outside. Tom, Abel and Bill's heads snapped to the side when she bursted out of the room so panicked, they stood up from their seats. "What's going on with her?!" she yelled, as they both rushed inside of the room to see Ramona sat you down on a chair, kneeling down in front of you and telling you to breathe.

But you couldn't, no air was going inside of your lungs. Your throat was closed, as you squeezed Ramona's hand.

"Y/n?!" Bill called, kneeling down in front of you. Abel stood next to you, rubbing your back comfortingly.

Your hands began to become stiff, your chest felt like it was being pushed down so hard by someone or something.

Tom just stood in shock, watching you in such a horrific state. He didn't know what to do, he was frozen. He then regained his movement and knelt down in front of you, taking a hold of your hands but you couldn't feel the comforting warmth of his palm this time. Your hands lost all feeling because of how numb they were.

He rubbed your hands, trying to get a reaction out of you, but you just shut your eyes tightly. He squeezed your hands in his, called out your name repeatedly, told you to follow his breathing. You began to feel dizzy, you blinked your eyes trying to wake yourself up but your head ached really badly.

Your breathing finally began to slow down, you just shut your eyes and counted in your head.

1... 2... 3... 4...

And then you lost focus and began to breathe rapidly again. You tried a different method, and focused on the way Tom was breathing.

Inhale... Exhale... Inhale... Exhale.... Inhale... Exhale...

And you caught your breathing pattern again, your hands began to tingle and vibrate before you regained feeling in them again. Your chest began to lift up freely without feeling like the space in your lungs was limited. You looked up at Tom, his hands never let go of you.

Your thoughts calmed down, the world calmed down around you.

You looked around at everyone else, as they all stared at you with concern. Bill passed a bottle of water into your hand, as you took a sip out of it. You handed the bottle back to Bill, and everyone was still silent.

You impulsively moved forward and hugged Tom, your hands around his neck. His hands snaked around your waist, as he placed a kiss on your shoulder. "You scared me so much y/n." he laughed. "I know I'm sorry." you embarrassingly apologised. You pulled away from him and his hand glided away from your waist. You took a deep breathe, taking the bottle out of Bill's hand and taking another sip of water. Everyone was silent, the only sound heard was your deep breathing as Tom held your hand, his thumb rubbing against it.

"How many times has this happened?" Katrina asked. "Only once before—"

"Nope." you cut Ramona off and she looked at you confused. "Happens more than you think, mostly when I'm alone." you confessed. Their eyes widened and turned looked back at you. "How do you stop it when you're alone?" Abel asked from behind you. "I just count in my head... But that didn't work when I tried it this time." you explained. "What did you do instead?" Bill asked. "I just... Focused on Tom's breathing." you said, and you saw him smile and look down.

"Don't think this is stopping you from getting kicked out of the band." Katrina said. Everyone turned to look at her. "Wait what?!" they all said in unison. You stared down at your shoes. "Why the fuck is she getting kicked?!" Tom stood up, standing in front of Ramona. "Were you not there when I told her what would happen?" Katrina snapped back. He stared at her with rage, clenching his fist as if he were about to punch her but Bill placed his hand on his shoulder, shaking his head at him and he backed down.

"Astral Crown needs y/n." Abel said. "Okay? Talk to her then, because after the tour she's not staying." she replied. "We don't need two vocalists anyways." Katrina snickered. You ignored her and just stood up, trembling but you could still walk. Tom's hand held yours, "you good?" he asked and you nodded, as you walked outside of the office and the others followed.

You exited the building, standing in the parking lot. You stared into space, accepting that you knew this was coming eventually. You closed your eyes and your head fell forward as you looked down at the ground. You stared down at a puddle in front of your feet which reflected the white cloudy sky above.

"I have to come to terms with the fact that you're gonna be gone." Ramona spoke next to you. You turned to look at her, and she didn't look happy.

"Why are you sad? You knew what you were doing. Don't think I'm not still mad as fuck at you." you barked. She didn't say anything and walked away, as Abel stared at you for a moment, hesitating but finally walked away with Ramona too.

You clung onto Tom's arm, leaning your head against his shoulder and closed your eyes. Bill stood next to you, silent. You leaned up from Tom's shoulder and looked at him, "maybe it's for the best." you said, looking over at Bill because he knew what you were talking about. You sighed and just walked away, Tom's hand holding onto yours and you felt his warmth again.

Bill followed you two like a child following his parents, as you entered the backseat of the car.

You leaned your head against the window, wondering how you were going to deal with tour. With you and Ramona being on bad terms, with the fact that you would be leaving right after, and many other things.

Maybe it really is for the best. How peaceful is life going to become when I don't have to worry about Astral Crown?

-
AUTHOR'S NOTE: early upload bcuz i dont have school todayyyy yayyy hope u enjoyed