Red String || Dottore

c6

Regrettably, the feelings had not disappeared when the string did.

A year or so later, (he had lost track of time eons ago. To many of his days were filled with him staying in bed, starving himself, wishing for the sweet bliss of death to take him) Dottore found himself standing in front of the couple.

There was a noticeable bump on Y/n's stomach, and he felt his heart sink.

He gave her a pained smile. He was still the Fatui Harbinger's doctor, and apparently, this extended to the spouses of the Harbingers.

Like always, there was a notebook open beside her, open to a blank page, a pen placed on top. For him. He felt a part of his heart shatter at her attention to detail. He picked up the notebook, writing in a simple congratulations, as well as an apology for being so late to give his congrats.

She smiled at him. "It's fine, Dottore. You are a busy person, I understand."

That smile. That damned smile.

...

That lovely smile.

He turned his attention away from her smile -as much as it pained him to do so- moving back to the notebook in his hands. He closed his eyes, finding it hard to be in the same room as her. He found it painful, to see her hand in another.

Dottore forced his hand to write in the notebook, biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from breaking, shattering in front of her. Once he was done writing, he wanted to tear the page out of the notebook. He hated the curse that Celestia placed on him.

He showed the notebook to her, watching painfully as she looked up at her husband, Childe, in glee. Childe smiled back at her, oblivious to the hurting heart standing not even five feet away from them. The 11th harbinger turned his attention over to him.

"Can we? Know the gender of the baby?"

The doctor nodded, being careful to guide Y/n, ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶l̶o̶v̶e̶d̶, through the process. Once she was situated, he noticed that she grabbed Childe's hand, smiling at him before turning her attention on the black and white x-ray screen beside her.

He bit his lip so hard it bled. He moved the tool around on her stomach, looking carefully for the baby. He froze once the tool landed on the child growing inside of her.

Aha. This wasn't a fucking dream.

What a sick fucking joke.

The baby kicked, earning a chuckle from the female beside him. He stared at the screen, waiting for something, anything, to tell him this wasn't the reality he was forced to deal with.

Dottore unclenched his fist, turning his head away from the screen. He knew his hand was probably bleeding under the gloves he constantly wore, which further proved that this was, indeed, the real world.

He forced a smile, making it as genuine as possible. He wrote once more in the notebook, hopefully for the last time, handing it over to Y/n.

She looked at it in disbelief, a smile growing on her face. "A boy. Childe, it'll look just like you. Oh, this is wonderful!" She squeezed his hand, the father kissing her knuckle, the same one that held their wedding ring.

"There is a chance it'll look like you, my love."

"Oh, you tease..."

Their voices faded out of Dottore's focus. He stood there and smiled -painfully so!- pretending to be happy for the couple. He bowed his head, leaving the room. He left the two of them alone in the room.

He walked out of the clinic, returning to his room in the palace. Once in his room, he slammed the door shut, letting out a pained sob. He slid down the door, his hand covering his mouth in a failed attempt to cover up his crying.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

He took off his mask, throwing it against the wall in front of him. It shattered as it struck the wall, its broken pieces reminding him of his heart. Shattered. Unfixable. So unbelievably broken.

Dottore cursed at the Heavenly Principles. He cursed at Celestia. He cursed at The Tsaritsa.

He cursed at his past self for making his damn body and soul immortal.

Oh, how he so desperately wants to die.

Oh, how he so desperately needs to die.