𝐓𝐚𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

Back to December

*Bzzz Bzzz*

I look down at my phone as I get a text message from the one i've missed.

Taehyung 🪩 :

Hey jen

I know it's been a while, would you like to catch up?

Jen 🎀 :
Sure, I have nothing to do today.

I stare at my phone as I anticipate for the next messages.

Taehyung and I have recently broke it off, well, I broke it off. Everything in my life has just been so hectic and I haven't made any time to be with him for most of our relationship. I feel like I let him down and I know he deserved someone better.

So I broke up with him.

I had never been good enough for him. He gave me roses, I left them there to die, he gave me all he loved, but all I gave him was goodbye.

And now I realized. I was too late.

The feelings have came back, but I know he doesn't feel the same after what I did to him. We agreed to stay as friends and meet up once in a while to catch up on our lives.

The first time he had ever seen me cry was that september night I broke up with him. Seeing the pain in his eyes as I said those words had felt like i'd been stabbed in the heart but I knew I had to do what was right for the both of us.

I wish I had realized what I had when he was mine, and I wish I could've been the dream girl he had always wanted and hoped for. But I wasn't enough.

My thoughts get interrupted as my phone buzzes again and I look to see the new messages sent to me.

Taehyung 🪩 :

Would you want to meet up later at the cafe?

Jen 🎀 :
Sounds great!

Taehyung 🪩 :

Is 3pm good?

Jen 🎀 :
Yep, see you there.

Well it actually wasn't great. I had told myself that I needed to apologize to him but i've just been holding myself back and I don't know what to do anymore. He deserves the apology and it's time that I swallow my pride and tell him what i've been meaning to tell him all these months.

꧁☆꧂

I enter the cafe as my eyes search the room and I see a familiar face smile at me.

Oh how I missed that sweet smile.

"Hey" he waves at me as I sit down across from him and give a simple "Hi".

The waiter comes and takes our order as I order a macchiato and Tae orders a milkshake.

"How has everything been?" he asks as I wonder how he seems so comfortable and unaffected by what had last happened between us. "Everything's fine, i've just been taking the time to work on myself" I smile and stare into his eyes and realize i've been looking at him for too long.

"How's your family?" I ask. I've always cared about his family and they've always been so supportive of me throughout everything. "They're doing alright, eomma misses you and asks me about you every day" he chuckles and I look at my lap as I realized how much of a sweetheart he's always been when it comes to his family.

"I've been very busy lately and I haven't had much time to go home and rest for a few days" he says and I nod. Seems like he's moved on to doing better things.

The waiter comes back with our drinks as I take a sip from my drink and I halt when I hear his next words.

"Jen, i've missed you so much" I can see in the back of his mind that he's still thinking of the night I broke up with him and I know it's been breaking his heart all this time.

I was going to agree but the words just come out my mouth "Tae i'm sorry" I sigh and I look up to his pained eyes as I continue "I'm sorry for that night but it's too late now. I wish I could go back to december and make it alright but I can't. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore but i've just been needing to get it off my chest" He seems very concerned and he holds my hands in his.

"Jen it's okay, I know you're sorry but maybe it was just meant to be this way" he says as a tear runs down my eye. I clear my throat and drink the rest of my coffee as I stand up and leave my money on the table.

"Thank you for everything Tae, i'm glad we got to have this conversation." I say as I leave the cafe.

I just want to lay in my bed and sob for the rest of the day.

꧁☆꧂

The tears stream down my face as I throw myself onto my bed and curl into a little ball.

Suddenly all the memories start to creep up in my mind as I remember all the beautiful times in the summer where we had the most delightful dates and he had treated me like I was a princess.

My mind goes back to when his birthday had passed and I forgot to call him and wish him a happy birthday. I was never good to him and I feel like a terrible person.

I fucked up bad.

I haven't been able to sleep all these nights, replaying the scene of the break up. All the midnights with the fear in my mind of what he would do when I break up with him. I wish I could go back in time so I could love him right and treat him the way he deserved to be treated. But I failed. And I will always have a hard time forgiving myself.

end.