Tough Kitten

What is DDLG?

The DDLG Relationship

Usually, the daddy takes on the dominant role and the little that of the submissive one. But the thought that it's strictly like that is a misconception.

Sometimes, littles can be the doms in the relationship. Examples of dominant littles are "brats" or "princesses." But maybe the little just doesn't identify as either dominant or submissive. That's perfectly fine, too.

The daddy and the little can also switch roles — so, the daddy becomes the little and the little becomes the caregiver.

And then there's the sexual aspect of it. A lot of the lifestyle portrayed online is very sexual in nature, but being in a platonic DDLG relationship is also completely possible.

This is why an ultimate guide for DDLG is tricky. Because the lifestyle is very flexible.

The only sure thing about it is that it's under the BDSM umbrella. It should also always be consensual. And whether or not sex is part of the picture, DDLG is always a kink because of the power exchange involved.

Everything else is pretty much fair play.

What Is a Daddy Dom?

In DDLG, the daddy takes on the caring parental figure. Of course, this parental figure doesn't always have to be a guy--there are also mommies, but we'll get to that later.

Daddies are more broadly called caregivers. And for a reason.

When you think of a dominant in a BDSM relationship, you usually think of someone who rules with a stern hand and enforces strict discipline. Daddies can be that too, but more often than not, they're more softcore.

They're caring, loving, and sweet. They're the protective and authoritative half of the DDLG dynamic. But whether they're strict or lenient with their littles, they always want the best for them.

Despite the "dom" in the name, some daddies can be the total opposite. Some don't even identify as dominant. And that's absolutely okay. Their job is to nurture, to be a constant in their little's lives, and to always give them a guiding hand whenever they need it.

Because daddies take on a kind of parental role, they often set up rules their little should follow. These rules, in turn, have rewards when abided to or punishments when broken.

This is common practice but not required. Daddies can have a more relaxed dynamic with their little. Just like any other relationship, it's important for the daddy and little to communicate what they each want their relationship to be.

What Is a Little?

Littles have never been able to get rid of their inner child. They can be in their 20s, 30s, or even 60s and still feel like they're 8 years old (or younger; or a bit older).

This is why littles look up to their daddies or caregivers for guidance. They have a need to be looked after, cared for, and protected. And maybe it's this innocence that urges daddies to be their caregivers.

Most littles are submissive, following daddy's orders and abiding by the rules he's set up. Sometimes they're good girls and sometimes they're bratty.

But some littles aren't submissive, and that's okay. Littles can be whatever they want.

So if it suits them and their daddies for them to be bratty and bossy 24/7, then more power to them! As long as everything's consensual and both parties are happy and satisfied.

Now, ageplay is very common in DDLG. That's why littles tend to have little ages and it can range from newborn to 12 years old.

If you think your little age falls into the teenage category, from 13 to 17, then you're called a middle.

Even so, you're still definitely a little because you're playing an age that's younger than your actual age, and you do it to embrace your inner younger self. But in the community, you're specifically called a middle, which is just a little, really--if only a bit older.

Your little age doesn't have to be fixed either. A lot of littles change ages all the time. Sometimes they're newborns and sometimes they're eight years old. It really just depends on your mood.

Some littles don't even have a little age. And that's okay, too! I personally don't. I've been bubbly and childish (and adorable) for as long as I can remember. I don't need a little age to feel or be little. I just know in my heart that I am.

Ageplay vs Age Regression

These 2 terms often get interchanged. But here's the gist:

Ageplay is a kink. Age regression isn't. Ageplayers act. Age regressors feel.

Ageplay is simple roleplay. You just act a certain age and play the role of that age. You can do it for sexual reasons or simply just for fun.

Age regression, on the other hand, is more biological. It's when someone mentally regresses to a certain age and actually feels like they're that age. Sometimes, this is a result of a traumatic experience. Age regression is also used in therapy. Although some littles might experience age regression, it's not inherently sexual.

DDLG and Sex (and Other Kinks)

So, the truth is, the CGL graph above is only the base. You can add so many more branches to it.

As I said, DDLG doesn't always involve sex. But when it does, some members of the community get into other kinks to further add flavor to their CGL dynamic.

Take me, for example:

I'm a little who also heavily leans into the M/s or Master/slave dynamic. I also enjoy pet play, so sometimes I'm daddy's puppy who'll bite all of his enemies (pet play intermingling with DDLG is actually pretty common).

Really, there's no shortage of areas to explore and things to add variety to your dynamic. You can try doing all sorts of roleplay and even polyamory. You can try all sorts of things!

As long as everyone involved is a responsible, consenting adult and that no one is getting physically or mentally harmed, you can enjoy DDLG however you like.

Safety & Abuse

Again, consent is key.

I'm just going to assume that you're a smart adult who's perfectly capable of taking care of your own wellbeing. As soon as you start feeling that something's off, trust your instincts.

Don't let anyone abuse you physically or verbally. Have safe words, goddamnit. Be responsible for your own health.

And if it's something that spiraled down to toxic real fast, get help immediately. Contact family and friends -- anyone you can trust to get you out.

This is serious. DDLG comes with its own risks. Because there's power play involved, make sure you're doing everything responsibly.

(information above are spinnets from ddlgoutfits.com )

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Be safe! Read up more than just this if you want to learn more about the community and wanting to join!