Kitten ~ Jindy

~ Chapter 4 ~

Andy

"No, but I'm here."

I bolted up from the couch to see Jinxx's blue eyes glowing slightly from the darkness from the doorway.

Ashamed of being such a child - crying over nothing, really - I turned away and ducked by head, hiding my tear-stained cheeks from my house guest.

"I'm sorry." he said, before I could speak: "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Oh, no, no - " I rushed out, trying to stop him from blaming himself: "It's not your fault. I'm just being stupid."

"No, it is. I didn't mean to be so abrupt with you earlier...about being friends. We are friends, I'm just not used to having someone like you around." he said, stepping closer and perching next to me on the couch.

I sniffed mournfully: "It's fine: you don't have to lie, Jinxx. I was just assuming too much, I always do that. I'm just fucking stupid!"

Suddenly I was pulled into a hug, my face pressed against the crook of Jinxx's neck. He stroked the back of my head carefully, petting my hair as he nuzzled my temple comfortingly.

"You're not stupid." he told me: "You're kind and warm-hearted and generous. I'm just used to people being...well, quite the opposite of that. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but...I wanted to protect myself. I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologise." I told him quietly, resting my head on his shoulder: "I get it."

"Well," he said: "I don't need to anymore. You're reaction's genuine enough to tell me you're an okay guy. Tell me why you're upset."

I was silent for a few seconds, weighing my options.

There was nothing forcing me to tell Jinxx about why I was crying. I had already offered an explanation: I didn't owe him anything else. But...I wanted to.

Why, I didn't know. But I wanted to share. Maybe so he'd be more sympathetic, maybe in case it would make him open up more...yeah, I didn't know.

But I was going to do it.

"I...I have a habit of...reading too much into situations. Including with my partners. I'm...'clingy', 'over-attached'...'pathetic'. And it's right; I shouldn't expect too much from people."

"They're idiots." Jinxx snorted.

"No, they're right." I sighed: "As soon as I meet someone I'm in love and then I expect the same them. Either they go along with it or they dump me straight away. Neither option is good. Either I'm hurt then and there or it builds up and then when they finally let me go - because I'm taking it too seriously, too fast - it hurts even worse."

Jinxx looked at me calculatingly. His eyes were less distant than before, but I still felt like he was thinking something I wouldn't like. But then I always felt like that with everyone.

However that never stopped me from going into things with an optimistic view. Or an open heart.

So, when Jinxx slowly leaned in: making sure I had plenty of time to pull away...I didn't.

I kissed back.