𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 | ✓

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩 𝟑𝟑

It's been a few hours since I've woken up, but we haven't left my bed, nor have we spoken much. I'm glad that Ryder got the idea that I didn't want to get up today, I'm a mess.

He's laying close beside me, his lips pressed against my upper arm, his fingers tracing my thighs, just beneath the hem of my shirt. I don't know what to think about, everything is so confusing and blurry. My heart aches thinking of everything Luka has done and said, I didn't know how things would end, but I didn't think this would be it.

I try not to think about it too much, there's nothing I can do. I know I can't stay with him, whether it's because of everything he's done, or because of everything I've done, It's just not right. After years of being together, it's just not right.

Ryder's lips made their way up my arm and into my neck, a wave of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I shouldn't feel like this, it's wrong. "Ryder," I breathe out, trying not to moan as he leaves more kisses along my jawline and down my neck. "You should go."

"Go where?" He exhales deeply, his hot breath brushing my neck. "Here?" His lips grazing against my skin as he moves to my collarbone, "Or here?" He repeats, pressing his lips onto my neck, finding a sensitive spot, causing me to gasp for air.

"I can't, Ryder." A heavy sigh escaped my lips, filled with disappointment. I really want to, even though I know I shouldn't, but I just can't. Not yet anyway.

"Why?" he breathed in deeply through his nose, taking in my scent from my neck. "You know why." I respond quietly, running my hand through his dark tousled hair. His shoulders slump and he lets out a deep sigh, resting his head on my chest. "It's only fair." he states, with a hint of tease.

The reminder of Luka cheating on me floods over me, a pain stabbing in my chest. A sense of shame follows, the fact that I had cheated on him right after he had accused me of it only made things worse.

And while I didn't do it as 'revenge', or for any reason other than I wanted to, I still feel horrible.

I don't know what I was thinking last night, I wasn't. My feelings just got the best of me, the feelings I've pushed down to my toes and tried my best to ignore. I couldn't breathe, and the only way I felt like I could was by kissing him, and it worked. Ryder manages to take away all my pain, and I don't know how.

I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I know I need to end things with Luka, and in person. Ryder's already said he's coming with me, and I've agreed.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

We laid in bed for a while longer, trying to ignore the issue, before we finally got up and went to Luka's. My hair is in a bun with no makeup, and I'm not even trying to appear presentable; I just threw on some grey Prada drawstring track trousers and Ryder's grey Dior sweater over the top with some white sneakers.