𝐬𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐲 | 𝐦. 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐨𝐧

eighteen.

that night you stayed up late thinking about your past years of highschool. how much you had longed for someone to be there for you. michael was different and you were in the wrong to assume he would need someone. you were pushing yourself onto him. you needed to stop projecting onto him. he still didn’t need to be so agressive about it. you rolled over in your bed and clutched your pillow close to your chest. you were thinking about it now. you brought it up and now it was the only thing on your mind.

when you were fresh out of middle school you had moved out of your home state to the small town of hurricane, utah. your mom wanted to move out of the big city you lived in to a small town. she said it would be good for you. you grew to love the town you lived in but you were always resentful of the people. you especially hated the other kids you went to school with because for some god forsaken reason they hated you the second you showed your face in their humble little town.

nothing about you made it obvious that you had moved from the city. at least you didn’t think so. you always told yourself it was just the fact that you were new. some people were excited to meet you while others teased you beyond all reason. it was a small town where everyone knew everyone so word of you spread fast. you were the high school laughing stock. you stood out like a sore thumb… apparently.

they said you dressed differently but you wore whatever was trending at that moment. you wore bright colors, high waisted bell bottoms, and platform shoes just like everyone else. it was too eccentric for them. your style and your personality made you bright and made you stand out. it made you annoying. you underwent big changes during your freshman year. changes for what you thought was better. 

you always promised yourself you would never let people push you around so easily but when it was the time to hold yourself to your own word you fell through. you listened to what everyone said. you grew quieter and talked a lot less to everyone. the people that tried to talk to you gave up after realizing you weren’t worth their time. you changed fast. you weren’t the same person you were just before school started.

by sophmore year, your sense of style had changed too. you no longer wore bright colors that grabbed the attention of others. after your freshman year you didn’t want anyone to ever look at you ever again. you were quiet, you were lonely, and you wore bland clothes. you hid all your colorful clothes and avoided doing anything that would draw attention to you. 

you let people push you around and break you down. you had been lonely until junior year. you had changed a lot and still didn’t talk to people until you met michael. you had talked to him first. you thought he was like you. you had learned to observe and you couldn’t help but notice that he was different. you saw everything about him change and it grabbed your attention. you thought he would want a friend and he did but he didn’t want to talk about what happened. and now you were worried you had let your first friend in years slip between your fingers. you didn’t want it to end like this. 

michael avoided you like the plague and the both of you were lonely. you didn’t speak a word to him for a week and a half since you didn't get the chance to. you weren’t able to walk to school with him, you never saw him in the halls, and you hardly saw him in your shared class. you had tried to sit with him but he never came to the usual spot under the tree. you found yourself worrying about him during the time you were apart. you longed to see him. it was ridiculous. you needed to talk to him and apologize before ricky got to him first and roughed him up for a third time. you just wanted to be there for him.

after a week and a half of not talking to michael you ran into ricky in the halls. he was by himself which was rather unusual. he was almost civil to you, apologizing as he ran into you and sent your papers flying out of your hands. you were runnning late to class and trying to shove things in your bag when he turned around the corner.

“watch where you’re going,” you muttered as both of you crouched down to pick up your things “you’re gonna make me late to my class,” you said and reached out for the papers he had picked up from the ground.

“i haven’t seen you and michael together recently,” he stated an observation he had made and completely ignored you. “did you two break up already?” his shoulders bounced as he let out an poorly timed laugh. you were not in the mood for his shitty sense of humor.

“we were never dating. this isn’t any of your business and i don’t quite understand why you care anyways. aren’t you and michael like enemies or something?” you said and accepted your defeat. this was unavoidable. your patience was wearing thin. “give me my stuff, ricky. i don’t have the time or patience for this.”

“something did happen though, right?” he asked, tilting his head and waiting hopefully for your answer. he was horribly nosy and it seemed like he wouldn’t give you your things until you gave him an answer. 

you responded with silence, shooting him a glare and hoping he picked up the hint.you reached your hand out to take the papers from him, tapping your foot against the tile of the hallway. he intentionally pulled them away from you and you let out an audible groan. another second of this and you would snap.

“do you really not know?” he asked, changing the topic. visible confusion washed over both your faces as he continued on. “you don’t know what michael did? it’s all everyone is talking about. you have to be lying. are you choosing to ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen?”

“i don’t want to do this right now. not again. i don’t care to know. if i wanted to hear about all these stupid rumors, i would ask michael. i trust him far more than i trust you and everyone else,” you grabbed your papers from his hands and stepped off to the side to get away from him. “now leave me alone.”

he stepped in your way and looked down at you. “aren’t you even a little curious?” he asked and moved his hand to touch your shoulder and keep you from walking away.

the bell rang and you huffed. you rudely pushed his hand off your shoulder and shot him another glare. if looks could kill he would already be six feet deep. “curiosity killed the cat. now leave me the fuck alone ricky. you made me late to class.”

ricky looked over his shoulder and watched you walk away before looking back forward and making his way to his own class. someone had to tell you and he knew it wouldn’t be michael. you should at least hear it from someone. at least that’s what ricky thought. he chose to ignore the fact that he was clearly just making everything so much worse.