i think i finally cracked the code
17 years of believing, running, and chasing.
4 years of going back and forth,
being abused and wallowing in my self-loathing.
i know now (i think) that my mission for love was not just because of fairytales.
i'm searching for meaning.
a meaning that is so unforgettable.
perhaps i'm searching for feeling.
someone to drag me out of my empty void,
fill my life with color and help me in believing that i can find joy.
believing i can find it in the hopeless eyes of a boy.
i crave so much just to be saved.
to know what it's like to believe
that you're truly loved and adored.
but somehow, they all leave me.
i wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.
the pain of not knowing when to let go.
of clinging onto something that's not there.
eventually growing more and more alone.
i do not know what this illness is called.
maybe this is my biggest flaw.
i'm always stuck believing,
yet never achieving.
YOU ARE READING
Overthinking
Poetry"She was a giver. Always poured too much of love. Never realized watering a rock doesn't make it soft." - randomscribbler
