the twenty-first century ellinghams

chapter seventeen: the hospital

~about eleven years ago~

     stevie sits her couch, legs criss-cross-applesauce, still in her soaked clothes from earlier. she hadn't turned on the lights, but there was a soft glow from the streetlights through the window. no lights because she needed to think. hard. lights would only ruin her concentration. she needed david to stay in this city with her. maybe forever? at least longer than next saturday. she couldn't tell what it was- maybe the whole remembering her drink thing, or the junior mints, or the flirts, or the way he walked her to her door. she had been "walked to the door" a few times in her years, but this was different. others had hesitated, with their shifty eyes, and sweaty palms. if they tried to kiss her, it was sloppy or brief. she was already shifty, and sweaty, and sloppy enough, someone else being that way was overkill. david had walked her to the door and waited, not because he didn't know what was going to happen, but because he knew exactly what was going to happen. because he was going to lead it. when she unlocked her door, she stepped inside a few steps and turned around to face him. he leaned his arm against her door frame and peered inside. he hmmmed and nodded dramatically.
     "yes?" she said, clearly playing into his act.
     "well," he began. "from where i'm standing, it looks exactly how i imagined it."
     "you've imagined it?"
     "but further inside?" he said, ignoring her. he tsssked. "who's to say? could be painted all, i don't know, hot pink. perhaps a mario bros themed dining room."
     "i don't have a dining room."
     "but i wouldn't know that from standing here, would i?" he flashed his signature smile at her. oh, he was good. but she had boundaries, and couldn't let him in after only two dates. he had to earn it.
     "we're closed for tours," she said quickly. "check our yelp next time, yeah? good night, david." she expected him to stop smiling. she expected his mouth to gape a bit in response to her incomparably wit. instead, he smiled wider, like he knew something she didn't.
     "'night, nancy drew." he turned around and walked away. she closed the door quickly, but she could (unfortunately) easily imagine his looping walk down the hallway.

     and now she was on her couch and he was probably in a car, driving far, far away. and in a few days, he would be even further away. that would be very bad. she pulls out her phone and, ignoring any "i am woman! hear me roar!" mantra that she usually lived by, presses his contact. it doesn't ring long.
     "well, well,"
     "david..."
     "hold on, one more... well."
     "are you done?" she asks.
     "it depends. have you come to your senses?" he replies.
     "i think i have. how far away are you?"
     "that's confidential."
     "ex-queeze me?"
     "okay, it's embarassing."
     "elaborate, please."
     "i- uh," he clears his throat. "i may be standing in the elevator. just... going to my various floors. waiting for you to come to your senses." the sound of a button being pressed. "i'm almost on your floor, be right there." then the call ends.

     she waits outside of her apartment for him. she watches as he appears around a corner, hands in his pockets, grinning. when he reaches her, she puts a hand to his chest. it's still damp from the rain.
     "hello ms. mixed signals," he says.
     "here's the deal," she begins. "you get to come inside if, and only if, you also agree to stay. i have no idea how that works for you with your big and important philanthropy job, but you're going to make it work. if that doesn't work for you, you can just turn around and leave, never knowing how my dining room is themed."
     "well, this is so convenient because somebody just got relocated to the southeast region."
     "oh really?"
     "yes really."
     "aren't we lucky."
     "getting luckier. did you turn the lights off?"
     "don't worry about it." he didn't seem to mind.

~present day~

     david doesn't like hospital hallways, even though it's been years since a hospital visit had been a bad one. the last time he was in the hospital, he left it with a second child. but now, he would be losing someone. he walks quickly down the hallway, holding henry to his chest and holding dana's hand as they walk down the hallway. he reaches sarah at the end of the hallway. she's about a decade older than him and stevie, but because of her dark clothing and dark circles she looks older.
"sarah?" he asks. she nods. "i'm david eastman, stevie's husband. these are our kids, dana and henry. say hello guys." they mutter hi's in their soft, post-nap time voices. "is he in there?" she nods again. "i don't mean to be rude," he begins, in a hushed tone. "what does he have?"
"emphysema," she replies after a moment. "ironic, i know. smart cop, catching killers left and right, real killer sitting between his middle and pointer finger." she shakes her head. "don't be offended if he doesn't talk much, the tubes they got in him keep him barely breathing." she opens the door to the hospital room. larry lays in the hospital bed, looking like a shell of his former self. he's pale, and what once was a salt and pepper haircut is now simply gray and balding. he opens his eyes of when he hears the door opens and smiles at david and the kids.
     "mr. eastman," he says, his voice low and breathy. david approaches cautiously, he's always been bad around sick people.
     "how ya feeling, larry?" he asks quietly.
      "i've felt better," larry replies. "who do we have here?"
     "this is diana element, and this is henry lawrence." larry nods thoughtfully. he opens his mouth to speak, but begins coughing fervently. after the fit, he speaks. david thinks it'll be about henry being named after him, but instead,
"element? after walker?" he asks. david is taken aback by this.
"yes," he replies finally. "she was born right after we moved back, so she was fresh on our minds. it would've been impossible not to."
"it's strange the way that place holds memories," larry says thoughtfully. "something about that school just seems to lock memories in it's hold. i have a lot of memories of you two."
"who? ellie and i or stevie and i?"
"truly both, but i was referring to the former. you two," he laughs a rough and gritty laugh, "you two made my work hell." he keeps laughing, like he hasn't in a long time. david laughs too.
"i'm sorry for that," he says.
"don't be!" larry interjects. "you were two teenagers in a reclusive school with almost unlimited resources at your disposable. i would've done the same thing." the two laugh and the air, for a moment. is easier to breathe.
"mr. eastman, i must ask for a question though," larry says finally.
"sure, anything," david replies.
"do you still blame yourself for what happened to element?"
"i don't know," david replies after a moment. "blame and regret are two different things."
"i'm not sure i know what you mean."
"i mean," david begins, "there are a lot of things that i regret not doing, a lot of things that i think if i had done... maybe it would've been different. but it also could've ended up exactly the same. i mean, the room next door to my office is the one she escaped out from. i don't know," he sighs. "i could've stayed with her, protected her maybe?"
"see, that's where you're wrong, mr. eastman," larry interrupts.
"if you remember, i was there that night too. certain people had certain motives that they would stop at nothing to pursue. element just got caught in the crossfire." david, who did not usually cry, found his eyes watering. he couldn't find it in him to speak, until dana went,
"who's element?"
"just an old friend of mine, sweetheart," david replies, his voice breaking. "someone your mom and i knew a long time ago." he laughs humorously, looking up at the ceiling, trying to blink the tears away. "you know," he finally says, "you're the only one on staff who didn't look at me like i was edward king's spoiled problem child."
"to me you were just a problem child," larry replies with a shrug. "i didn't give a damn who your father was, i just needed you to stop filling the library with squirrels." they start to laugh.
"knock, knock," says a voice from the doorway. david turns to see stevie, suitcase still in hand. "i came as soon as i could," she says.