What is constant? A seventeen-year old Cielo wonders
Research says it is a situation or state of affairs that does not change. Constant is being sure, being persistent, hindi nag babago, walang tigil, tapat. A lot of words can be used to describe what constant is, but no one can convince Cielo; she believes that constant is just a belief that does not work in real life.
Paano niya papaniwalaan ang bagay na hindi niya naman nakikita o nararamdaman?
"Constant means doing your routine. You do it today, and to the same exact thing tomorrow, and the next days, weeks, or month," her mother once told her.
Constant? May ganoon ba? Hindi ba't masyadong imposibleng mangyari na patuloy at hindi nagbabago ang isang bagay. When there is so much uncertainty in the world, how can you be constant in one thing?
She remembered asking the same question to her friend. It was one fine Sunday. Mass had just ended, and they decided to go to a friend's house.
"Sabi ni mama saakin it is when you are persistent on doing one thing, kapag hindi nagbabago, kapag walang tigil at tapat. Gawa-gawa lang ata nila 'yan e, I don't think there's such a thing as constant. What do you think, Silas?"
"Hindi ko alam, Cielo. Bakit mo tinatanong 'yan"
"I read this one book, sabi noong lalake "I will constantly choose you" pero sa kahuli-hulihan hindi naman sila nagkatuluyan. Kung patuloy niyang pipiliin, bakit hindi sila nag katuluyan? "
They were enveloped in a protracted quiet. Cielo only glances at him as he appears to be struggling to find the right words to explain.
"I think the constant that you want to understand is a constant love"
"Ano yun?"
"I don't know, but for me constant love is when you can choose someone everyday. In any circumstances and in any way."
"Ha?"
"Hoy! Silas Cielo, pasok na dito, merienda daw sabi ni lola"
And that answered Cielo's question; not his answer, but Silas himself
After years of figuring out what constant means; after a lot of words, definition and explanation. Only one word made it clear to Cielo's mind
Constant is like loving Silas. Hindi madali, it's a love that requires a lot of patience and understanding. A love that full of certainty and doubt at the same time, pero katulad nang sabi ni Silas. It is when you can choose someone everyday.
Silas is the constant that Cielo defines by name.
Constant is him.
